We live in an age of whiplash convenience and digital hypochondria, a world where self-care means scrolling WebMD with one hand while clutching a turmeric latte in the other.

Got a headache? Pop a pill. A rash? Google it, panic, then see a doctor who will look at you as if you’ve just asked him to explain cryptocurrency. A twinge in the belly? Straight to A&E, elbowing past six drunk lads and a man holding his own severed finger in a shopping bag.

And yes, sometimes symptoms do whisper of something more sinister. A seizure doesn’t always begin with drama and froth - it might tap you on the temple like a hangover from last night's wine.. An aneurysm might dress itself up as a common migraine, while you sit there like a lemon with a bag of frozen peas balanced on your head and a mug of herbal optimism steaming in your lap.

So yes, when in doubt, call a professional. Not your mate who did a First Aid course in Year 9. Not TikTok. Someone who wears scrubs and knows where your pancreas is.

While estate agents chirrup about location, location, location - let’s get one thing straight: in health, it’s prevention, prevention, prevention. That’s the whole gospel. The rest is sermon filler.

This book? Think of it as your long-overdue crash course in common sense, the handbook you didn’t know you needed because you were too busy Googling “can stress cause death” instead of just going for a walk and eating something green.