Ever lost money in crypto faster than your ex could say "It's not you, it's volatility"?

Welcome to the only investment guide bold enough to admit what everyone’s pretending not to scream into their cold wallets: you’re not early—you’re confused.

How to Burn Your Cash in Crypto Trading is a riotous, brutally honest, and painfully funny guide through the chaotic, meme-infested swamp of Web3 madness. Whether you’ve been rugged, dumped, staked, or just emotionally liquidated, this book will make you laugh so hard, you’ll forget you just sold your kidney for $YOLOINU.

Inside this Comedy of Crypto Errors, You’ll Learn How To:

• Trust everyone in a hoodie with a wolf profile picture

• Sell the moment it spikes… and watch it moon right after

• Treat meme coins like a retirement plan (Jesus take the blockchain)

• Stake your net worth in a protocol run by a cartoon owl

• Blame the market for every poor decision you made at 3AM on leverage

• And, eventually, how to actually profit in crypto (yes, we do get serious for a second)

Wisdom Bombs So Good, They Belong on a Blockchain:

• "You can dodge a dip. You can’t dodge the IRS."

• "Hope is not a strategy. Especially when your coin is named $YOLOINU."

• "The only sustainable yield is from your 9–5 job. Sorry."

• "DeFi is short for Definitely Find a job."

Who Is This Book For?

• Degens, dreamers, and Doge-maxis

• Anyone who’s bought a token because “the logo looks cute”

• Crypto traders who’ve become part-time comedians to cope

• Newbies trying to make sense of terms like rug-pull, staking, gas fees, and "wen Lambo?"

Whether you're a hardened HODLer or a first-time FOMO-er, this book is your therapy, your cautionary tale, and your hilarious financial intervention.

Fans of These Books Will Love This One:

• The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

• Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki (but make it memeable)

• Cryptoassets by Chris Burniske & Jack Tatar

• Bitcoin Billionaires by Ben Mezrich

• The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham (if he ever got on Twitter)

But unlike those books, this one tells you the real secret to success: Don’t take advice from strangers with laser eyes and .eth usernames.

Packed With High-Traffic Keywords to Help You (and This Book) Moon:

Crypto trading for beginners, how to invest in cryptocurrency, best crypto books 2025, crypto mistakes, meme coins guide, what is staking, DeFi explained, Bitcoin humor, Ethereum crash, crypto for dummies, how to survive a bear market, crypto investing gone wrong, FOMO trading lessons, funniest investing books, crypto satire, how not to lose your money online, NFT disaster stories, and the ultimate Web3 survival guide.

If you’ve ever opened your portfolio, whispered “what have I done?”, and then blamed Elon Musk...

=This book is for you.=

Buy it now before gas fees go up again.
(Just kidding. It’s on Amazon. No gas. Just laughs. And maybe some healing.)