L Cook

Publication Date Matters

Revisado: 03-01-24

I did not realize that this book was originally published in 1987. Literally until after the ending when they were talking through publication details. I point this out because it explains A LOT. My biggest frustration throughout the book was the female lead...I literally wanted to shake her. She was so weak and sooooo dependent on men. What would Daddy want? What would my brother have done? And any time curse words or sexual innuendos were even hinted at they were referred to as "gutter words" or something similar, with the lead acting like her ears were too delicate to hear such trash. I may feel like 1987 was 15 years ago, but in reality it was 37 years ago and the world has changed A LOT in that time, particularly for women (thank goodness). If you can take all of that into account and enjoy the story, it's not bad.

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Interesting Perspective With Some Clear Problems

Revisado: 01-12-24

I liked a lot of what the author contributed to the sober-lit category. She adds an interesting perspective on how a lot of existing sobriety methodology and steps are geared towards a man's world and how she approached things differently to make them fit a female's world. The other things I liked are what you would expect from a sober-lit book...how alcohol impacts your body, your social life, your mental health, etc. so I won't bother going into those details.

My general cautions for others (things that didn't both me but based on other reviews clearly bother others): The author is staunchly anti-Trump. She uses a lot of curse words and crude sexual language throughout the book...I'm pretty sure starting in the first paragraph. She is not a fan of AA and that comes up repeatedly, with extensive discussions of why...so if you are a big fan of AA, this is probably not the book for you.

My personal biggest issue with the book (and what dropped it down to two stars for me) is that she presents quite dangerously inaccurate information about trauma and trauma treatment in Chapter 11. (Side not, I'm a psychologist.) There is no such thing as "Big T(rauma) and Little T(rauma)." Trauma is trauma. And what may be traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for another person. Also, out of all of the treatments she described, EMDR is the only one considered evidence-based, and even that one is controversial in the field. The others sound completely wackadoo. I'm glad they worked for her, but it's dangerous for her to tell people that these are the "only 3-4 (I can't remember which she said) treatments for trauma that work" and send people on a wild goose chase for people charging $250-300/hour to do these weird/fake treatments. Anyone looking for a provider who treats trauma appropriately should look for one who conducts Prolonged Exposure (PE), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), EMDR (depending on your views after reviewing the research), or Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT). Additionally, if you are with a quality provider conducting evidence-based treatment, you shouldn't be working through your trauma for multiple YEARS like she describes.

Finally, she is absolutely right that finding the right fit is extremely important when searching for a psychologist/counselor. If you aren't meshing with someone you're seeing, it's okay to let them know you want to see someone else and they will help you find someone else. When someone is trying to decide if we're the right provider for them, I would guess that most of us would gladly have phone consults to discuss with you how we practice, etc. But "any provider worth their salt will give you a trial session for free?" I've literally never heard of that. Probably because she is seeing wackadoodle providers who need to do that to recruit patients. If you are seeing a legit doctor, they are most likely going to charge you for your appointment. Just like any medical doctor would. Otherwise, we don't get paid for that hour...and we need income just like anyone else. I just put that out there so no one goes in with false expectations that psychologists all over the country should be offering first sessions for free...because that's not a thing. And if you wait until you find someone who offers that, you will be searching for a long time.

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Know What You're Buying

Revisado: 01-10-24

I read the reviews and the summary, but still didn't fully understand what I was in for. Maybe it's obvious and I should have, but in case it's not, the entire book is narrated from a 7-year-old's perspective. As adults, we can (hopefully) understand what is happening in the story pretty quickly, but it is interesting how the author brings it all together. It was annoying to hear the narrator use a fake child's voice throughout, but you can decide if you can tolerate that by listening to the sample. What really ruined the book for me was all of the superfluous comments added in to really make the point that this narrator is a child. Yes, children's brains jump from one topic to another. And gifted children often like to explain/teach things. But not every. Single. Sentence. That's what it felt like at least. For example, she would say something related to the trip. Then she would define that word. Then she would say how she knows that definition and remind us that she's "advanced." If this happened a few times, it would have appropriately made the point. But I swear it happened a minimum of 300 times in the book. So just consider yourself warned.

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Requires the accompanying PDF

Revisado: 11-14-23

I listen to audiobooks because I'm constantly moving and on the go, so this book didn't end up working out for me. If you listen while you're stationary and you can follow along with the accompanying PDF, you are MUCH better suited for this book. I expected it to be Billie and her parents talking through stories and anecdotes...it is, but all in response to seeing a photo and responding to it. For example, they see a photo and say something like, "Oh! This was ..... " and then tell the story. So if you're not looking at the photo it leaves you feeling kind of lost a lot of the time. I think this one is much better suited as a physical book than an audiobook.

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Too Much Fighting

Revisado: 09-22-23

This one pushed the line from romance to coercion for me. Like a lot of romance novels, you have you a rich, powerful man and a woman from his past. They reconnect. In this case, in their past, he was an absolute jerk who deserved to be hated. Fast forward to the future. The first 75% of the book isn't so much let me woo her back, let me right my wrongs, but the man making angry, violent demands and having expectations that she WILL come back to him. And if she doesn't HOW DARE SHE not do what he wants, WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? Even for people who are into sub/dom stuff, this was more of a power-hungry spoiled man throwing tantrums because a woman stood up for herself.

Eventually, if you can manage to get to the last 25% of the book, it turns around and is okay. Not great, but okay. I wouldn't recommend it. There are so many more out there that are better.

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Despicable Character

Revisado: 08-20-23

I normally really enjoy Carolyn Brown books, but I struggled through this one. I hate to disagree with all of the raving reviews, but I simply could not get past the antagonist in this book. She was simply despicable. Like, to a point that made it hard to continue reading because I wanted to throw a physical book across the room. The other characters were Carolyn's typical southern stereotypes, sassy but sweet, speaking in lingo that is never actually used in the real south. While they were angered by the behavior of the antagonist, no one actually put her in her place like she deserved. There is a time for kill her with kindness and a time for a town to team up on a bully and push her out of town. Maybe others have more patience than I do for bullies. No spoilers for the main storyline, but with the bully issue, there is no real resolution. So just go in fully prepared for all of that and maybe you can enjoy the rest of the story more.

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Way Better Than Movie

Revisado: 08-20-23

This normally goes without saying, but this book is SO MUCH BETTER than the movie. I purchased it as a daily deal, thinking, why not? I vaguely remembered seeing the movie years and years ago but not much else. It was a quick listen; nothing of substance, but you wouldn't expect it to be. Turns out I own the movie as part of a movie compilation from the 80s and 90s, so I then watched the movie after finishing the book. Obviously movies often change details to shorten storylines, etc., but some of the details that were changed truly made no sense and just made most of the characters really unlikeable. In the end, I wouldn't read or watch it again, but would recommend the book as a fun read. I would not recommend the movie as a fun watch.

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Very unlikable characters

Revisado: 01-22-23

It was free and the reviews were good so I hung in there, but I wish I hadn't. The characters are all just terrible people and that made it really hard to care what happened to them.

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Not worth it

Revisado: 01-07-23

The story is cute, but considering how short it is, definitely not worth the cost or the credit. I have now listened to the matchmaker, which this is a prequel to. You will be totally fine skipping the prequel and diving into the main story.

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Love it but heed this warning

Revisado: 12-28-22

I personally loved every minute and love Tiffany even more now knowing her story. That said, there are definite trigger warnings for many topics and some insensitive sections.

Trigger warnings I can think of (but I'm sure I'm missing/forgetting some) would include: Mental illness, domestic violence, child abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual), homelessness, foster care, physical disability, and slurs

I think the hardest parts for me were when the chapters where she talked about a man with physical and developmental disabilities and prostitution. I don't believe her intent was to be mean and there was definitely some humor in those stories, but they were definitely insensitive in a way that made me uncomfortable as well.

I would still recommend the book and think many will love it. Just go in knowing that if you are sensitive to the above trigger warnings, you may not be happy.

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