L. Kirkwood

A Bold Self Reflection

Revisado: 05-18-16

What made the experience of listening to Approval Junkie the most enjoyable?

I always prefer listening to books read by the author, and the fact that this author is also an actress made the performance all the better.

What other book might you compare Approval Junkie to and why?

I thought it would be like Tina Fey's or Mindy Kaling's books, but it wasn't. This book is really all about Faith, her lowests lows, highest highs, and personal growth (and sometimes a lack of growth).

What about Faith Salie’s performance did you like?

The Russian accent gets top marks.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The beginning of the book when Faith describes her struggle with her appearance, and later in the book when she describes motherhood.

Any additional comments?

It's important to remember, while listening to this book, that the author's whole point is that she wants people's approval. There were parts of the book when I thought Faith was being shallow in her pursuits, but I had to remind myself that she's just being honest. She went to Harvard and was a Rhodes Scholar; she could have done anything, anywhere, and succeeded without being beaten up over her looks and her weight. But instead she chose showbiz. That's tough. She did not always reveal herself to her listeners in a flattering light, which is pretty brave. I thought her description of her struggle with anorexia was interesting, as she doesn't seem to accept her obsession with weight as being unhealthy. She knows she "should" say it is unhealthy, but she doesn't. Overall Faith stayed true to herself by not editing her thoughts on some of these issues and was willing to present herself as flawed despite her efforts to achieve perfection.

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Unimaginative Narrator; Alarmist Writing Style

Revisado: 03-09-16

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

People who enjoy bad reality TV might like this book.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Sue Klebold's book.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

The narrator changed her voice when reading quotes from teenage girls. She used a breathy "Valley Girl" type of accent that makes every statement sound like a question. This made the teenage girls sound stupid and vacuous. I might not have read these girls' words in my head this way if I bought a hard copy of the book. When the narrator quoted teenage boys, she used a deeper, even-toned voice that sounded more serious. This really started bothering me after a couple hours of listening to this book. There was no reason for her to do this unless she had access to the author's audio recordings of the teenagers and knew for a fact that each and every teenager spoke the way she represented them as speaking.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

I thought this book merely showed the latest incarnation of how teenagers evaluate each other and themselves. When I was a teenager, it was all about designer logos, handbags, and wearing a certain brand of sunglasses. Now it is about selfies and "likes". I suppose it has helped me to know how to "prime" my kids as they get ready to enter middle school. I can let them know what to expect, what others kids might be doing, and what I expect of them. I can keep an eye out for certain types of behaviors and social practices among their friends.

Any additional comments?

I didn't find myself (I'm a mother in her mid-40s) in any of these subjects. I listened to the author in an interview and thought the book sounded interesting. I liked the first hour or so, but then it became clear that she was talking to teenagers who watch the Kardashians on TV, have parents who participate in social media just as much as their children, have mothers who own copies of Kim Kardashian's book and allow their teenage daughters to have boy/girl sleepovers, etc. She was not talking to me.

I did not grow up in a permissive household, and I am not raising my children with this "Hey, if all the other kids are doing it, then I guess you can, too" attitude which is so prevalent these days with parents who find it hard to resist their 10-year-old begging for her own phone. I'm sure we will have some difficult, challenging issues with social media once our children are old enough to explore it, but I feel like we are way ahead of the game by simply being parents who do not embrace this selfie/social media culture ourselves. I don't raise my kids with my phone in my hand, I don't watch every school award or performance through my iphone screen (because I do not record every single little thing they do), our TV is always tuned to the PBS station and reality TV is not a "reality" in our home, and we set a good example for our kids as to how grown-ups should act and dress. We keep a close watch on their friendships and steer them away from kids who engage in mean, toxic, abusive behavior and try to cultivate their friendships with children who make them laugh and feel good about themselves. Whenever my daughter is having problems with a friend or group of friends, I always ask, "How do you feel about yourself when you are with them?" I am trying to help her understand that good friends make you feel good about yourself; bad friends make you feel bad about yourself. My sister did the same thing and my 19-year-old niece turned out just great--no nudes exchanged on Snap Chat, no cyber bullying. She always had sweet, respectful friends in high school, and I hope that the same will happen for my kids.

This book is alarmist, and the author really has an ax to grind. The narrator is just terrible. Her reading oozes with judgment. When she got to the part about the kids in the rich suburb of New York, it sounded like she, the narrator, already hated these people for being rich and stupid enough to believe that they could insulate themselves and their kids from the horrors of the world by ensconcing their family in a tony neighborhood. I think the narrator was actually happy that these kids were having problems, too. That's when I stopped listening and decided to return the book. It's possible I would have a completely different take on this book if I had read it instead of listened to it, but I can only review the experience I had, which was with the Audible version.

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