Jessica

Gaslighting galore!

Revisado: 11-22-23

What the F was that? This type of book (where one main character is lying/gaslighting the other) can be done to where I don't hate the character who is lying/gaslighting. This is not that. I am horrified by how West "apologized" to JT. I also am not a fan of how JT was throughout the book, but first, West.

West and his group of friends are horrible, immature a**holes. I was hoping for some type of character arc that let me like West, but it didn't come. It got worse? First, betting on getting with someone like that is a cruel, horrible thing to do to someone, and the fact that they all went along with it (even after hanging out with JT) makes me want to scream. But the fact that West charmed, schmoozed, and gaslighted his way into JT's life WHILE also blowing right by an boundaries WHILE also not negotiated anything (hell, even asking him if things were okay ... and THEN actually listening when JT hesitated would have been good) literally made me throw my hands up in disgust. Then, when he got caught ... this piece of poop pushes and pushes and pushes himself onto jT so he can "say he is sorry" completely ignoring the fact the JT (the person who should decide whether or not to hear West out since it was West that hurt him in the first place!) doesn't want to even be around West! Gah!

90% of the book is West lying to JT, but it's all "okay" because while he was lying and still talking about the bet with his friends, he was "falling for JT" so you know ... all is freaking well! And so he says he is sorry and says a freaking poem and all is fine?!? No.

Then there is JT. He hears his mom say he shouldn't be around West and his friends (without telling him why?! That is ridiculous) as well as Caleb saying the same thing (also without telling him why?!) and he still is like "meh, he's nice; there is nothing he could have done to deserve anything bad said about him" all while they are drinking ALL the time. Among other things. And JT forgave way too quickly. He was very ugh for me.

I am pissed how the lying, gaslighting, and overall lack of character development was handled. This is definitely a no for me as well as the other books in this series. I just can't.

The narration was really nice, and I loved both the narrators.

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I Wanted to Love this

Revisado: 07-14-23

I Love Javier and Levy! They are sweet and kinky, which is my jam. However, I felt like this was more focused on Ant and his story, which would be fine ... if it was his story. But I didn't get enough of Javier and Levy like I had hoped for.

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Had Potential

Revisado: 06-28-23

Aimee Nicole Walker is kind of hit or miss with me. I love some of her books, but others I am meh about. This is one of the "meh" books.

It was both oddly slow and then rushed. There was plot, but it felt like the plot was in the background, like it wasn't that big of a deal? It felt like Leo and Abe were the main focus, but in a flirty-sexy kind of focus. I like them, but their story just didn't hit home with me. I think my main problem was the lack of focus on the mystery of who was going after Leo. It felt lackluster? Also, when Leo got shot at, and no one knows who did it, why why why would they let Alex go to Leo's house? Alone? That felt off to me too.

As for the narrator, I like Tristan James. I had to get used to him the first few times I listened to him, but I have come to like how he narrates. He can be monotone sometimes, but he's one of my top narrators that I frequently check for new material. Give him a chance and see if you can like him like I did.

Overall, the story was meh and the narrator was great.

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Didn't Like the Dubious Conscent

Revisado: 04-20-23

I tried to get into this book, but I just couldn't get over how Logan was blackmailed into giving sexual favors to Theo in order to get tutoring that he needed in order to pass his chem class.

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Is no one going to mention the lack of consent?

Revisado: 03-14-23

I wanted to like this. I am all in for protective, silent, brooding, teddy bear-in-secret type tops/doms who care for their either bratty or vulnerable bottoms/subs (who also can be badass when they want, but also have someone to help when they can't). But what I really like is consent. Care. Aftercare. Communication. You know, standard things when you are doing power dynamics with sex, on top of the already power-shift there is with them being different shifters.

But there was none of that with Carter and Bengal. From the start Bengal is an ass who takes control without asking if it's okay (or, you know, asks when he has ALREADY done stuff so Carter is in not a good headspace to consent). He makes Carter feel embarrassed, shamed even after the first encounter (which had a lot of Carter thinking "I hate him for this.." "...but it feels good" and stuff like that, which no!?), then proceeds to continue to be an ass.

*****SPOILER*****
The thing that pushed me over the edge with this issue was when Bengal was being a dick, boxing Carter in and basically calling him a w**re, which Carter took offense to (as he should be what the fuck pal?), so Carter slapped him. But apparently this was a big NO to Bengal, so he decided that he would spank Carter for doing such a "horrible" thing. He didn't have the right for one thing. The night before, Bengal embarrassed Carter with sex, doesn't talk about limits or consent or how Carter is feeling about everything. And NOW he's spanking Carter without consent, without reason, and without checking in with an obviously scared Carter?! Fuck that. But then it got worse.

After he spanked Carter, he cuddled him and shushed him. Which sounds like a good thing, right? I thought so, until Bengal started groping Carter, and putting his fingers in Carter's mouth because Carter was sassing him ... I'm sorry, what? If it is discussed beforehand, with explicit consent and safewords, then yes, go for it! But Carter didn't consent to this or have a way to say no, but you know, it was okay because even though he felt embarrassed and ashamed, it kind of felt nice .... And then Bengal asks Carter (who isn't in the right mental state to consent to anything) if it was okay if he got Cater off. After all of this happens, when Carter goes to get Bengal off, Bengal states that he doesn't want to be one of Carter's conquests ... like everything he just did was a lesson of some shit?

Even outside of the sex, Bengal is an overbearing ass who takes charge of everything without discussing anything. By the way, they have known each other for less than two days right now. And yet! Bengal acts like this towards Carter?

No, thank you. I didn't even go into how everyone else treats Carter like shit, but that it's "okay" because sometimes they show concern when he acts like they don't care about him ... which they don't, not really. They use him. He's supposed to be Tommy's secret keeper person, but Tommy keeps so much from him and treats him like a pet. And it all pissed me off, but I was hoping there would be some comeback with Bengal being sorry for previous actions and actually TALKING to Carter about what he likes and doesn't like, but no. I gave up after the spanking and Bengal grabbed Carter by the scruff and thinking it was funny when Carter hissed. UGH.

The ONE bright side to all of this was Greg Boudreaux. I love his narration! I will try any of his books because he is amazing at what he does. Amazing voice!

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There is no Excuse for Being a Serial Killer

Revisado: 07-30-22

I'm at a loss. There was potential for this story to be good. But no.

Elliot is obsessed with this serial killer. He says that he's all about history and facts, yet he is enthralled by a serial killer, saying that he was "misunderstood" and the world should know. Excuse me? Even with facts, he has these romanticized ideas about this guy. Even if the serial killer was "misunderstood" and all the people he killed had broken his heart, that does NOT make it okay for him to kill people! Even a few hours in, Elliot is still going on and on about this.I know that he had abusive relationships and that his dad was abusive, but he knows killing is wrong. Soooo???

I couldn't get past that. And Elliot's personality and character conflict with each other more than once, which didn't help with, well, anything.

There was more that bothered me, but this was the thing that really bothered me, so I DNF it.

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Consent is Sexy, which this is not...

Revisado: 07-30-22

This was a DNF not even three hours in. The reason I lasted that long in the first place was because I was hoping that things would be fixed and be redeeming. I was sorely mistaken. Language and maybe spoilers ahead.

The first thing that pissed me off (the one that really gets to me) is when Tooth is taking Lucifer to the compound right after they meet. Lucifer is trying to think of ways to get himself out of going, so he uses his go-to thing, seduction, hoping Tooth will let him go. But what does he get instead? Tooth beats Lucifer's ass with a belt. In the road. Over his bike. Because Lucifer was scared and tried to get out of going to a MC clubhouse where his dad is the President of the club (the dad who had an affair with Lucifer's mom, left them, and abandoned them). So yes, the obvious thing to do to a scared person is to beat their ass.

Then, Lucifer's dad decides that his gay son (of course the word he uses is NOT that) shouldn't be working in a club, so he decides, after ALL this time, that he is stepping in and forcing Lucifer to stay at the clubhouse. Where everyone (except Tooth of course) are assholes about him being gay. Lucifer is 19, an adult, yet he's being forced to stay their for "his own good." Riiight. Because that dad that left him, is an asshole to him now, and is a homophobic jerk has decided that he wants to "help" his son (and by "help" I mean change). Oh! But don't forget that the dad is married and doesn't want his current family (wife and two kids) to know that Lucifer is his son, so while he's forcing his son to be somewhere he's not welcomed nor wants to be, he's ignoring his son. Or you know, to try to sleep with a woman that hangs around the club...

And now Tooth. He's described as someone who is calm, responsible, and good at looking after people while also being known to take people's teeth is they do something that goes against the club. Calm and responsible ... and yet he beats Lucifer's ass because Lucifer was touching him to try to get away afterwards? It's not like Tooth is homophobic. Then there is the fact that he's keeping Lucifer against his will, in his room, and is threatening "discipline" if he goes against the rules. Which are to basically go along with everything, don't talk back to people when they are mean to him about his sexuality, and respect them. Um, excuse me? Tooth is forcing Lucifer to be there, and he is expecting Lucifer to go along with things, and if he doesn't, he's going to get his ass beaten again? What the absolute ... ugh! No. Even if Lucifer finds Tooth hot, and maybe doesn't mind getting spanked. There is no, and I mean NO, negotiation whatsoever. No seeing if that's what Lucifer wants or he has hard limits. Lucifer is not in the right place to give consent anyway since he's being forced to be there.

I stopped listening to this after Lucifer talked to his dad, which is three or so hours into the book. So maybe things get cleared up. Maybe things get better. However, even if it does get better, it would not make up what I have listened to so far. I've tried listening to other works by Merikan, but the results have not been promising. Maybe it's me. Either way, this book is a huge no for me.

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Not Entirely Sure What I Just Listened To

Revisado: 03-03-22

I decided to listen to this because I really like John Solo and the description seemed intriguing. However, it quickly became clear that I wouldn't like this book; I barely made it through Book 1, but wanted to say that I listened to all of it before making a decision about it (though I already had).

What I don't get is that Mingo is recovering from a bad relationship, one that really hurt him, and yet, when he meets Jason, he falls head-over-heals for him within days. Let's not forget to mention that Mingo, the Forensic Accountant, went home with this guy in the morning for sex and then proceeds to keep seeing him even though Jason is both weary about the sex (which there is a lot of, and while that in-and-of-itself isn't a bad thing, it is in this case) and yet can't stand to be away from Mingo. Not suspicious or anything.

Then there is that plot, which is meh and very anti-climatic. There is just a lot of things that didn't sit right for me in this book.

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Minimizing :(

Revisado: 09-21-19

I liked how the plot was slowly done, allowing for there to be suspense but also more personal things to occur as well. While I did like the relationship between Kevin and Connor (mostly), I did feel like it developed a bit too fast.

[Possible Spoilers ahead]

The thing that I really didn't like. Kevin and his family haven't spoken in 6 years. His father didn't like that he's gay and said stuff, so Kevin didn't come back. Kevin has a sister, who's husband is Kevin's friend. He also hasn't talked to his sister and rarely to his friend. When he goes back to his hometown for a case, things happen and Connor feels like Kevin isn't taking care of himself and that Kevin's gift is hurting him (which it it) so he decides an intervention is called for ... because Kevin keeps using his gift for the case ... which Connor has asked for him to do. Connor has Kevin's sister and her husband for the intervention and they basically tell him that he's an idiot for hurting himself like he is, which is bullshit because it was the sister's husband (a cop) who asked for Kevin's help in the first place. So??? I feel like the intervention was pointless except for the fact that it brings Kevin to his dad for dinner.

Now this is where I got mad ... more mad. When Kevin brings up what made him not contact his family, the dad basically says that after all the times that the dad had said something to Kevin (that Kevin was an idiot or something like that) and that Kevin normally ignores the dad, why did Kevin listen this time. So basically, the dad is blaming Kevin for listening to something his dad said that hurt him. And the dad never apologized! He minimized it. Let's not forget that neither the dad nor the sister had tried to contact Kevin for 6 years either! The dad said that he new that what he said was wrong, but he didn't try to contact Kevin??? Ugh. And the sister is acting like she is caring and wants to help, and yet she never contacted Kevin either. They all basically blame Kevin for not contacting any of them and minimizing everything that they say! And they say things like "you're an idiot" and so on. I didn't like any of this.

So, I liked to plot and Connor and Kevin (expect for when Connor did the intervention and then agreed with the family that Kevin was to blame for not contacting the family when Kevin was the one that was hurt), but hated the personal side it all. The minimizing was victim blaming was horrible.

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Great premise but lacking in execution [Spoilers!]

Revisado: 06-14-19

I haven't read/listened to many books that involve abuse with M/M, so to see a book that acknowledges this and brings attention to it was nice to see. I love hurt/comfort books, so when I read the description of this book, I wanted to listen to it and get all the comforting feels. What I got, however, was not what I was hoping for.

[Spoilers ahead!!!!!]

Ty has been with an abusive boyfriend for 10 years. He decides to escape his boyfriend one night when the abuse almost got him killed. He escapes the hospital once the police and his boyfriend leave the room. Now ... at this point in the story, I already had some misgivings. Before I say anything else, know that I don't have much experience with this kind of abuse nor do I know the mindset of the victims. With that said, though, I am curious why Ty decided to book it out of town instead of going to the police? I am also curious about the little things: what about his clothes? Don't hospitals have to take off clothes to look for and treat wounds, internal and otherwise, so wouldn't he have been in a gown? He just walked out, taking off things attached to him, like a monitor, which sounds off an alarm when taken off, right? And he just decided to skip town to go back to where he grew up? He wants to escape his abusive boyfriend but decides to go somewhere where said boyfriend knows he has family? Yet he is too scared to go to the police? There are a lot of small things that bother me....

Then we have a small skip forward, two weeks. Eli is a detective (head detective now) still in the town he grew up, along side his two other friends -- one a bookstore owner and the other is another detective. He is also friends with Corey (I am not sure of the spelling), Ty's older brother. Eli and his two buddies are out at a bar when Corey comes in saying Ty was found on the side of road and is at the hospital but needs a ride since his in the shop. Now. We also get a bit of information here: Ty got with his abusive boyfriend in college, but no one knew he was abusive. But, when Ty started to retreat and only spend time with his boyfriend, disregarding calls and whatnot from both friends and family, they all worried. However, no one seemed to do more than ask what was wrong, if anything was wrong, and call a lot. They let Ty go to another city, Denver, and that was that, them thinking that Ty didn't want anything to do with them. This seems a bit ... not right. They were his friends and family, and if he suddenly had a huge change in how he acted and socialized, wouldn't they do more?

Anyway. They all go to the hospital and ask to see Ty. Eli and Corey go with the doctor to Ty's room, but before they go in, the doctor tells them that Ty might not look like what they are used to and talks about how he has "signs of repeated abuse" or "history of abuse." Now wait a minute. This doctor is telling them that Ty has signs of a lot of abuse, but the hospital Ty was at originally didn't catch that? He did go in with his abusive boyfriend saying he was "mugged," but the doctor in town is saying that he has had a history of it, so the original hospital didn't catch that? Hmm.

When Eli and Corey see Ty, still bruised and basically a skeleton, it's rough. They were a few things that bugged me about the reunion, but I'm going to skip to the one that really bugged me. Once Ty is ready to be released, it's assumed that Ty will go with his brother (since his parents are dead) since his brother is One, his brother and Two, a doctor. Eli, however, decides that since Ty is running from his abusive ex (he could tell by how Ty reacted to things he said), that it would be safer for Ty to stay with him. And he tells (read as demand) that Ty goes with him since he can keep Ty safe. Ty agrees since he is scared of his ex, hence why he ran away ... Corey is upset but quickly goes with it. Now. What? Eli makes the decision for them basically, and is sure that Ty's ex will come and try to get him back. Which, sure, maybe with his experience as a detective he can know, but does Ty really need/have to go to Eli's house? No. Not really. Plus, Corey is a doctor, which is good because Ty is beaten up and malnourished. But no. He goes to Eli's.

It's when Eli and Ty are alone that I get a bit miffed at things. It's the way that Ty is dealing/handling the abuse. It's mentioned over and over that he's been in an abusive relationship for ten years. Yet, by this time he already is saying that he's willing to explain everything and whatnot when he's ready, which is him applying that it'll be soon-ish. He is also quiet and flinches a few times with Eli dropping something and swearing, but it doesn't feel real or deep. The fact that he's already willing to think about talking about everything seems a bit off. They way Eli is handing things as well, given is "experience" seems a bit off as well, him giving Ty space, but also not. It was around this time that I stopped listening to the book, about an hour or so into it.

The writing seems a bit fast, as well. It jumps around a bit, from the hospital, to 2 weeks later to Eli and his work, to the bar, to the town hospital, and so on. It seems rushed and with the details getting muddled and not too in-depth. The dialogue is also a bit stilted along with the story line itself.

I wanted to like this book, but there were too many things that bothered me when reading. It has a lot of potential, given more in-depth writing. I like the characters, but wished it went more in-depth with the writing as well.

The narrator has great voice, and I liked how he read for the most point. There were points when he was too fast, not letting the points when the location/section changed have enough space, so I got a bit lost for a minute each time. Overall, though, I liked him.

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