Heidi Ho

The first story is heartwarming. The second is terrifying, but inspired childlike wonder in me, at the same time.

Revisado: 11-01-24

These are two of my favorite Spooked stories, in the same episode! While I’m usually eager to hear a new one, I got lost in the menu and was excited to share this episode I’d already heard with my mom. We were listening to Spooked together, like we have on many Saturdays in October when it’s broadcast on the radio. At least, where we’re at. I’ve been known to postpone dates I was looking forward to, to hear Spooked! Now, we can listen to Spooked while waiting for kids to knock at the door, on Halloween night! This was worth the time, on Halloween The second time listening, I picked up even more interesting things to ponder, in the first story. The first story is about the enduring love between a mother and a child. It’s more amazing than scary, and I loved it! If the first story isn’t scary enough for you, stick around for the second one! I’ve probably already given away too much, so I’ll stop. Happy Halloween! Give these a listen.

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The author’s work supports the hypothesis that there is no brain condition called, “Evil,” for a reason.

Revisado: 10-08-24

I’m a graduate student in Substance Use Disorders, and co-occurring conditions. I am certain I will cite Patric Gagne’s book, in the future, and I am excited to look up her research! I became interested in psychology, because I grew to very poor, neurodivergent, and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as an adult. My BA was in Sociology…mainly, deviance. I’ve become painfully aware, over the years, that certain conditions in the DSM-V are misunderstood, and people hold damaging stereotypes about those who have them. I’ve heard many, many people equate substance use disorders with narcissism and soullessness, though brain studies have shown it’s chronic neurological disorder for at least 30-40 years, Rather than being self-destructive, an evolutionary glitch causes the midbrain (our survival center) to signal people to repeat experiences that cause the highest dopamine release, especially when in a state of chemical imbalance. Trauma, oppression, and other extreme stress, as well as genetics, often play a role in its etiology. Bipolar disorder is, also, misunderstood. It is often confused with borderline personality disorder, and/or misassociated with abusive outbursts, in popular culture. In fact, it’s not an externalizing disorder, and is characterized by periods of elevated mood and energy, and periods of depression. There are popular misconceptions about autism and empathy. I could list several other conditions that are, similarly, misunderstood. Antisocial Personality Disorder is often referred to as sociopathy or psychopathy, and it’s hard to find accurate information about how to distinguish one from the other. ASPD is the most demonized condition of all, the mother of all the “soulless and evil” diagnoses. On social media, people debate whether criminals are narcissistic sociopaths, or temporarily insane…the assumption being that the former belong under the prison. I have long suspected it was untrue that people are all good, or all evil, or that people with ASPD cannot manage their condition or “improve.” Our society has a propensity to label certain groups of people as not deserving of its spoils. Many people who have never been charged with a crime, or a crime against person are being labeled as people to avoid, people you should not hire, or have a personal relationship with…incapable of parenting, empathy, insight, or being responsible, ethical members of society. Patric Gagne’s book vividly illustrates why this is always a problem, and her analysis is groundbreaking. This is a must-read for anyone who has ever used the words, narcissist, sociopath, or psycho. Anyone who has worked with, or alongside, someone with ASPD will benefit from it. In short, I believe this book should be required reading in any setting where neurodivergence, character education, mental health/illness, or personality disorders are discussed. Teachers of children who are too young to read it can still use it to inform their work. The takeaway is that sociopathy is not what most people think it is. It’s a form of neurodivergence, it can be managed, and no one is inherently bad, or a lost cause. Some mental health practitioners and texts maintain that it’s a permanent, and does not improve. However, in my estimation, doctors often say that about any condition they don’t have (or know) effective treatments for. Gagne Through her research and experience, Gagne describes growing up “different”, and how she became determined to find information and resources for people like her. She began her research on sociopathy, because so few resources exist for people who society gives up on, without a full understanding of their nature and strengths. Her book is an incredible resource for those navigating life, with this neurotype, demonstrating that no one is inherently bad, problematic behaviors can be managed, and diagnosed sociopaths can have positive life outcomes. The author’s analysis is brilliant, and her memoir was impossible to put down. I plan to re-read it, to let it sink in, and return again to take notes. Spoiler alert: If you’re expecting to read about a child and young adult mistreating animals and brutalizing her peers and younger families, you are in for a few surprises. If that’s what you’re hoping for, you may want to read some wildly inaccurate pop psych book, like the one the author references, about how we’re all surrounded by evil monsters (who might even be living next door). That reference cracked me up. It’s the book that most enraged me, by asserting that most sex workers are sociopaths (not sure if I can cite it here)…a very dated assessment, now that society is aware of human trafficking. One thing that makes it hard to get accurate information and help is when mental health professionals are out of touch with the patients they serve. Patric Gagne’s experience makes her an inspiring asset to the literature on sociopathy.

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A few powerful moments…

Revisado: 10-03-24

This book had a few powerful moments, but it was, mostly, a technical play-by-play of the court proceedings. There were a few strategic details of the defense and prosecution I hadn’t heard. It was interesting to learn that the defense tried to put a gag order on Amber Frey, but it was argued that if we start doing that, people won’t want to come forward with information if they can’t respond to defamation, in the press. However, it was hard to sustain interest in the book, at many points, as I’d heard most of the facts of the case already. From the title, I was hoping we would get to know Laci. The victim is who makes a True Crime case into a human interest story, for people like me. Laci’s sweet face, youthful anticipation of motherhood and all the great things she envisioned in her future, and joi de vive is what got the world’s attention. I wanted to learn more about her life, and who she was. However, I have learned more about Laci from network TV shows, much less other books.

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A scary, silly story

Revisado: 09-11-23

These are fun stories, narrated by kids, for kids. These would be fun for primary students to listen to at slumber parties, or whenever they feel like hearing a scary, silly story.

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Great narration but not much depth

Revisado: 03-23-23

I’ve never been a fan of the author, though being a hip hop fan, I’ve probably heard his work. I’m in long term recovery and in the recovery field. I usually appreciate an addiction/recovery story but I just couldn’t feel for the subject. He talked a lot about his victories, but not much about the struggle. It was nice reading about his relationship with his children. I guess it’s more fan fare.

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Makes me more interested in psychic phenomena

Revisado: 03-23-23

I am one of those on-the-fence skeptics this book was written for, or I was…I am left interested in finding out more. It’s definitely persuasive! I am open to the idea of psychic phenomena, and even communication with the dead. There is nothing I would like to know more than what happens after we die, and if we continue to exist as conscious beings. However, I know that I would like to think we do, so I am careful not to engage in wishful thinking. I have had experiences that are unexplained as pests in the attic or the house settling. I once felt a cat jump into my pillow from the dresser, like my deceased cat used to do. It then jumped off the bed and padded across the floor, just like she once did. The next morning, my living cat (whom she was best friends with) was diagnosed with terminal phase kidney failure. My whole family heard a woman in heels come up the walk and try to let herself in the entrance that had been unused for 50+ years, with the missing skeleton key (from the sound of it). None of us ever saw anyone coming up the walk, and they heard it before I did! Still, I tell myself there couldn’t be a conscious deceased person in my house…maybe an energy imprint or something science will soon explain. This book made me wonder all over again. I once consulted psychic Kathlyn Rhea, another forensic psychic, who told me I would have a career in psychology. I laughed, because I thought I hated psychology. 20 years later, I’m working on a Master’s in Psych, and have a mental health certification. She was accurate about many things. I was a kid, at that time, and hadn’t thought of it in years, but this book brings back wonder (if not full belief). I listened to this book on commutes, and I will miss it. I would have liked to know more about the author and his interest and the topic, and many other details I may look into!

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Some of y’all are spoiled as f#c%! This is a great read.

Revisado: 02-28-23

I have sensory issues that cause me to have to move if I sit near someone sniffling or talking with food in their mouths, as a non-neurotypical person. I struggle to let people know I don’t think they’re gross or judge them for such minor things. I experience it as overwhelming, overlapping noise that feels like being hit in the head with a sledgehammer repeatedly, if it were possible to remain alert and alive while it happened. No only did I not mind the sound quality, but it brought nostalgia for making “expert” cassette recordings on various topics, as a kid. I’ve taken graduate neuroscience classes and I learned new things from this book! I like the author’s writing style. I try to help people like myself in my career, so I hate having to act stilted and “professional”. No matter how many times I am told it’s good for boundaries and makes people feel safe (which is ideal), I feel it separates me from others and some feel looked down upon. I’m glad the the author is able to just be herself, at least here. I would like to imagine she acts just as natural with her clients. I’d love to have her as my therapist! “Good swearers,” you don’t have to be hard or hood to swear…from a long term street survivor. Being yourself is enough, whoever you are. The author models this attitude well. I loved the part about all trauma being worthy of attention and healing! As a kid, I would call youth hotlines and make up stories of events I thought would be recognized as difficult, so people would understand how I felt. Thankfully, I was taken out of the home and found out I had suffered just about everything on the Adverse Childhood Events questionnaire in their most severe forms possible, while still able to fill out a form. A lot of us have impostor syndrome in a society that goes about business as usual, while we suffer. I could not have told the truth about what was wrong, as a child or young teen, because I didn’t know what was not supposed to happen to me. It took half a lifetime to figure that out! Not only do we ignore “minor” trauma as a society, but we look right past people who have internalized abuse and oppression because they seem fine. No wonder people use drugs. Understanding the affects of addiction on the brain, and that we can heal our brains with abstinence from our substance(s) of addiction saved my life! If the dogma of the Moral Model and many 12 step participants is true, there’s no logical point in trying. If we’re so laden with character flaws, recovery is selfish and impossible. Good thing it’s not that, but a neurological disorder. Since I learned that, I have accomplished more in 5 years than the entire rest of my life. That’s the power of neurobiology, and the author brings that message across clearly. I couldn’t stop listening. The only thing that could make this, and many Audible books, more enjoyable is higher volume. I will gladly recommend this book to my clients!

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Ann Rule is a master. It’s the narcissistic villain who is tiresome.

Revisado: 02-18-23

This book is well written and performed. It includes all of the well developed characters and excellent writing I expect from Ann Rule. It’s the boring, yet self-absorbed abusive husband who made the book a chore to listen to, at times. Maybe it’s just me…I already spent 12 years with someone like that, and I don’t need more! I have remained passionate about the issue of domestic violence. Vicariously experiencing the banality and unease of daily life with the perpetrator is practically unbearable. This is no fault of Rule’s, and is certainly an accurate depiction of life with a man who is only interested in himself, his wants, his money, and his image. I DO recommend this book. It gets much more interesting as the image is tarnished, revealing a portrait of the true grotesque mind behind the mirage.

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A smart, suspenseful mystery

Revisado: 02-04-23

If this is the Swedish Danielle Steele (as one review claimed), I can’t wait to read more Swedish mysteries. This is a more intricate and suspenseful tale than most American mysteries, by far. I’m half Swedish, and have a good feel for the language and dialect, and the narrator didn’t butcher it. Despite a few errors, his mastery is good. I’m thrilled to read a book that doesn’t make me suspect the narration is AI. I have vision problems, so this was a treat. He overdid the women’s voices a bit, but at least he created a different voice for each of the characters, which was entertaining and easy to follow. The narration was slow…I played it at 1.1, and it was perfect. The book was slow moving at first, and the characters were stuffy. It was hard to sympathize, at first, but they are real people, in the end, who put on a few airs. When the facade falls away, they are actually quite relatable. Stick with it! You won’t regret it.

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A great career autobiography, and a peek at the other side!

Revisado: 01-25-23

I was feeling very down, after the loss of a pet who was much more like a family member, 3 months ago. The longer my cat was gone, the worse I felt. He left behind a “daughter” (a 2 year old cat he was tightly bonded with), who still searches for him when I say his name. He was seriously ill when he found her in the yard, and I believe he brought her home her to help take care of me. I have medical issues, and he was the best service animal I could ask for, even alerting me to infections before I knew. It’s too bad they only recognize cats as Emotional Support Animals though, as a sweet blue Burmese, he was an ideal ESA, too! The loss was tremendous, and I was trying to find a way to connect with him, wherever he is now. The night before his vet visit, a cat jumped from the dresser to my pillow, then padded out of my room. My sick boy was snoring on my belly. Then I remembered the dresser was my female British Shorthair’s perch, and she would jump from there to my pillow every night. She passed away in 2017. The next day, my Burmese’s tests showed he was in terminal kidney failure, after 4 1/2 years battling CRF. I had always been skeptical of others’ claims, but I couldn’t help but feel she had come to let me know she would be back to show her old friend the way, soon. It was comforting that she was still around us, and he wouldn’t be alone. That’s why I hoped I might be able to contact him. I purchased the book, not having seen the show it is based on. It was a bit unexpected that the first several chapters were autobiographical, and all about discovering her gift and the decision to use it in a career, to help others. I do love career autobiographies and, as those go, it was pretty good. There were some things I would like to hear the author go into more depth on, perhaps in a future book. For example, why she doesn’t like to work with the supernatural, how she defines the term, and why. Also, how she defines the work she does, in contrast. There were other things like that, which I’m sure she knows the language and meaning of, but people who aren’t mediums might need a bit more background. In general, she does an excellent job of conveying what her work consists of, and how she experiences it. I just wish I’d known the book is not a grief and loss book, primarily. It does end up addressing the subject and doing it well, but there is quite a lot of personal and career background to absorb before it starts heading in that direction. In this way, the author is a typical 25 year old (at the time it was written). It’s about her life, her growth and development, and perspective. About midway through the book, she branches out into the topic of connecting with spirits, and how to do so. She provides some compelling examples and others where I think you’d have to be there to understand the significance. She seems very earnest, and not at all like a huckster. I get the sense that she absolutely believes in her ability to receive messages from the other side. Still, it does make me wonder why, when she mentions that she (like some other mediums) is usually unable to contact her own departed, but can receive messages from others’ family members and friends. It’s so counterintuitive! Some of the signs from loved ones to watch for could so easily be coincidence, such as street names or songs that come on the radio and I found myself asking how spirits could control these things. I think, in some cases, it depends on the context. Perhaps spirits can draw your attention to things that happen to be there already, at the right moment to let us know they are with us. I have had several undeniable encounters with spirits myself, and I had witnesses who spoke up about them before I did, in one very clear case, so I know there is something that lingers that cannot be explained in terms of what is known, scientifically. The author gives warnings about fake or poor mediums, and is generally so believable I found myself more open to her ideas than I have been to others. I loved the chapter about pets, and she mentions animals at other points in the book, too. She doesn’t differentiate between humans and animals, in any limiting way, which I appreciate. The book is very pet loss friendly, in that the subject matter can be applied to any departed loved one, human or otherwise. I forgot to check whether or not the author is also the narrator, but it feels like it. She does an excellent job! The way she speaks made me open to the information, and to the spirits I wish to speak with. It’s as if she’s modeling how she does it, more so than explaining. I don’t feel like I have a lot more information on how to contact spirits than before reading, but I now send thoughts and intentions out to them, more automatically. One day, I did get something back. I had missed a meal, and late meals were of great concern to my cat. I suddenly caught a smell of fish (his favorite food) and felt like he was making a suggestion. Several miles down the road, I smelled fish at a restaurant. I felt like my cat had directed me there! If it takes an effort to contact the living, I think he’d be more concerned for my stomach than anything else. It’s signs like that which are easily overlooked. I’m glad I read this, because it has helped me to maintain a constant mental openness to my loved ones’ presence.

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