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Trying to Actually Learn to Leave? Don’t waste your time

Revisado: 01-26-23

TL/DR: If you’re looking for practical steps/guidance on how to get away from NPD abusers, don’t waste your time on this one.


To those out there suffering at the hands of NPD abusers who are sneaking in books moment by hurried moment wherever they can so their abuser doesn’t suspect anything: I see you. And this book isn’t worth your time. It is essentially yet another long elucidation of the evils of NPD and a description of the associated characteristics of the disorder the likes of which already saturate the genre. Yes, we get it, NPDs are incurably dangerous, evil, cruel people (contrary to what this author seems to think, most people living with them already know that- which is why we picked up this book in the first place). Aside from a rather generic and nuance-deprived description of how victims of narcissistic abuse are addicted to their abusers in the same way addicts are to their substance of choice and a FIVE MINUTE LONG final chapter on “boundaries” (?) suggesting essentially that victims get therapy (again… not earth shattering stuff here) this book is totally devoid of what the title and initial chapters promise: actual practical guidance on how to leave these awful and dangerous relationships. In addition to the book not being by any stretch of the imagination what it claims to be, it sounds as though the author went to a local coffee shop to read the book into a mic with zero noise reduction capacity. You can literally hear chatter in the background sometimes, which I personally found to be a little irritating and it gives a general low quality/unprofessional vibe to the whole thing. Finally- though certainly not the most obnoxious thing about this book- the author provides what are I guess supposed to be insightful or inspirational quotes at the beginning of each chapter (some from such notable figures as Buddha, William Blake etc.) but most of them are the author quoting himself paraphrasing what someone else has already said and the way this guy lingers over the enunciation of his own name every time kinda makes you wonder if this whole thing isn’t more of a memoir… but I guess the author’s depiction of himself as someone who pulls drowning abuse survivors out of the water by their hair and slaps them around the face in a heroic metaphorical effort save them from themselves should have tipped me off early on. Sheesh.
Bottom line is: if you’re in real trouble and looking for practical guidance on how to get out, don’t waste your precious time on this one.

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