CeeCeeBee

Sighhhh

Revisado: 11-02-20

I really struggled with this one. Cute premise but boy did it take FOREVER to stop with the hand-wringing. I found myself yelling at the Bluetooth speaker "Just STOP! already!". I wanted this to be two hours shorter and only finished because, like their initial phone call, it felt like a sunk cost. The characters were fine, neither likeable or unlikable, and the voice actors did a pretty ok job. The reveal was pretty predictable; I also found myself yelling about it out loud at the speaker like one does when watching a horror movie and the main character does something incredibly stupid. I'd like 50% of my time back.

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Lacking the female/feminine perspective

Revisado: 05-10-19

Sure, there are some good points about attachment and things to look for when dealing with anxious and avoidant types, however there are a lot of troubling assertions that you should put up with what can be described as abusive and emotional laborious behavior in the name of your partner. Particularly the disparagement of so-called "Islands". The author goes out of his way in the beginning to say "None of these types are 'wrong'", but then spends the rest of the book telling Islands that they are wrong to want to establish boundaries and take time for themselves. According to the author you need to be available 24/7 for your partner, and provide all of your partners needs no matter how damaging it is to your own psyche. If you are in an argument, trying to establish healthy boundaries and take care of your needs, and your partner calls 20 times and leaves long, troubling voicemails in the name of "seeing if the relationship is ok", this is NOT acceptable behavior!

I feel like what this book lacks is the perspective of a woman who has had to deal with being the sole system of support for her male partner. She might seem like an Island because she's fighting for identity and autonomy against a man-child who sucks everything from the atmosphere. The author states that we need to "parent" our partners, but every woman can tell you that it often doesn't go both ways, and she ends up "parenting" just about everyone in her household.

The author does nothing to discuss the need for friends and a social circle outside of the relationship. He says that "Anchors" acknowledge the need for it, but doesn't go into how it should operate. If you're with a "Wave" no amount of time away from them seems reasonable, and according to the author the "Island" should accommodate that. THIS IS DANGEROUS TO WOMEN.

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esto le resultó útil a 25 personas

Thorough and Thoughtful

Revisado: 11-12-12

What I like about this book is that it doesn't take the negative "He's Just Not That Into You" approach and delves in deep to the real reasons why people have difficulty finding love. I also appreciate that it is for men and women, gay and straight. And it's not just a talking down to straight women about how they are too unrealistic about their expectations of men. It's a realistic approach to modern dating that goes into personal development as much as it covers dating others. I have honestly learned things about myself.
I am on my second listen and I hope to get some of the exercises down on paper soon (I listen in the car during a long commute). I have recommended this book to several people. I haven't given it 5 starts only because I have not had the chance to apply any of this knowledge, but I will update my review after some practice in the field.

The audio is decent and well paced. Sometimes Joyce's "man voice" makes me lol.

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esto le resultó útil a 5 personas