William

After the Renegade mission by the crew of the starship Flying Dutchman, the UN Expeditionary Force thought Earth was safe for hundreds of years, at least. After there was trouble on the home front and the president had to authorize a nuclear strike on an American city, UNEF decided they did need the Merry Band of Pirates again. So, the Flying Dutchman is sent out on a simple recon mission. But for the pirates, nothing is ever simple, and their mission will become Armageddon.

The enemy unknowingly opened a portal to the Netherworld, and our world’s only wizard somehow managed to close it. Unfortunately, something got through. Something big. A dragon. Now Kaz Wolfe, with help from his dog Duke who is channeling the spirit of a wizard from ancient Babylon, and with no help from Azib the Cowardly Genie, must find the dragon before someone gets a cellphone video of the thing, and the world learns that magic is real. Or, you know, before the dragon eats someone.

Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.

Six-time Emmy Award-winning funnyman Tim Conway, best known for his characters on The Carol Burnett Show, offers a straight-shooting and hilarious memoir about his life on stage and off as an actor and comedian. In television history, few entertainers have captured as many hearts and made as many people laugh as Tim Conway. There's nothing in the world that Tim Conway would rather do than entertain - and in his first-ever memoir, What's So Funny?, that's exactly what he does.

Anyone can see it: We're captivated by the idea of eternity. No generation or culture can resist its draw. And some part of you already knows this, doesn't it? It's the reason you're thinking about buying this book. God created us with eternity in our hearts because this life is merely a glimpse of what's to come. But what do we know about eternity? Is there more to it than pitchforks and harps? And if so, is any of it relevant to the life we're living now?

Fairy tales are rich sources of sexual fantasy - sexy slippers, mattresses piled high, dominatrix witches, lustful princes, naked emporers.... Seasoned erotica author Mitzi Szereto restores the sex in the 15 tales in this provocative book - and adds a few surprises of her own. Here the bawdy humor of French fable meets the sublime eroticism of ancient Chinese myth as a far-from-virginal damsel weds a Prince Charming with a shoe fetish. Little Rid Riding Hood discovers Grandma's bed is open to any stray wolf.

Memphis, 1939. Twelve-year-old Rill Foss and her four younger siblings live a magical life aboard their family’s Mississippi River shantyboat. But when their father must rush their mother to the hospital one stormy night, Rill is left in charge - until strangers arrive in force. Wrenched from all that is familiar and thrown into a Tennessee Children’s Home Society orphanage, the Foss children are assured that they will soon be returned to their parents - but they quickly realize the dark truth.

A group of some of the most powerful people in the government, the military, and the private sector has begun a brutal plan to quietly take over the reins of the US government. They've begun to remove the people who stand in their way - and replace them with their own sympathizers and puppets. They've already taken out the Speaker of the House - whose death was made to look like an accidental drowning - and the president and vice president are next.

Heartwarming, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny, A Dog's Purpose is not only the emotional and hilarious story of a dog's many lives, but also a dog's-eye commentary on human relationships and the unbreakable bonds between man and man's best friend. This moving and beautifully crafted story teaches us that love never dies, that our true friends are always with us, and that every creature on earth is born with a purpose.

The president of the United States stands on an outdoor stage, flanked by powerful members of his administration and party. Television crews are preparing for broadcast. High above the stage, on a nearby rooftop, a decorated sniper adjusts the scope on his rifle. Afterwards, America will never be the same.