Michael Burnett

Dad's love to tell terribly good jokes! You know the ones that make you cringe, then laugh because they’re told by your dad - and you only get one dad, right? Well if you love cheesy one-liner jokes, you will love this audiobook! Great for anyone that loves bad jokes!

The Malazan Empire simmers with discontent, bled dry by interminable warfare, bitter infighting and bloody confrontations with the formidable Anomander Rake and his Tiste Andii, ancient and implacable sorcerers. Even the imperial legions, long inured to the bloodshed, yearn for some respite. Yet Empress Laseen's rule remains absolute, enforced by her dread Claw assassins.

The Sorceress Nicci, the Wizard Nathan Rahl, and the young swordsman Bannon remain in the legendary city of Ildakar after a great internal revolt has freed the slaves and brought down the powerful wizards council. But as he fled the city, capricious Wizard Commander Maxim dissolved the petrification spell that had turned to stone the invading army of General Utros fifteen centuries earlier. Now, hundreds of thousands of half-stone soldiers from the ancient past have awakened, led by one of the greatest enemy commanders in history.

Shroud of Eternity picks up where Terry Goodkind's New York Times bestseller Death's Mistress left off, promising a thrilling brew of bloodshed, sex, deception, and sorcery. The formidable sorceress Nicci and her companions - the newly powerless Nathan and the youthful Bannon - set out on another quest after driving ruthless Norukai slavers out of Renda Bay. Their mission: restore Nathan's magic and, for Nicci, save the world.

Kahlan has at last gained the one goal she had always thought was beyond her grasp...love. Against all odds, the ancient bonds of secret oaths, and the dark talents of men long dead, Richard has won her heart. Amid sudden and disastrous events, Richard's life is called due to satisfy those treacherous oaths. To save his life, Kahlan must forsake Richard's love and cast him into the chains of slavery, knowing there could be no sin worse than such a betrayal.

On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day in Chester's Mill, Maine, the town is inexplicably and suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field. Planes crash into it and fall from the sky in flaming wreckage, a gardener's hand is severed as "the dome" comes down on it, people running errands in the neighboring town are divided from their families, and cars explode on impact. No one can fathom what this barrier is, where it came from, and when - or if - it will go away.