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Good data…

Revisado: 03-20-24

Overall great data. Sounded like quality research in a very fascinating topic. Standout qualities is a good pacing and organizing of data. I really liked how he was able to synthesize all of those fantasies and distill them into specific categories that were very clear and allowed for a lot of variation. His best work IMO.
Took me a bit to get used to the voice. Clarity in recording seemed a little off, but not enough to derail everything.
A weak point for me was in a few of the ways he interpreted the data. I followed him for much of it, but there were a few lines of connection he drew that I thought was grasping.
Overall, The first part of the book lays out the data, and the second part is his interpretation in how he puts those pieces together. The final part gets applicational in how/if to bring fantasies to life. Not why I bought the book, but hey…


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Excellent for a wide range of Audience

Revisado: 02-26-24

Swoboda reads as one who straddles the two worlds of pastor and academic. One part of him reads like a theologian with all of the appropriate sources as one who has been rolling in seminary circles a little too long :) . The other part of him reads like a pastor, full of one-liners, good illustrations, and well-crafted sticky sentences that stand out in the text. LOTS of chances to highlight and go back to chew on a concept. If you usually listen to these books on faster speeds, I would recommend slowing down a bit to metabolize the material... because it is really well written... packed tight without a lot of fluff. I admit I was hesitant going in, thinking this could be another contemporary neo-reformed iteration of total depravity... saying (in a nice way) that all of our desires are "good" but essentially detestable lol. I am SO GLAD to say that is not this book! He handles his topic VERY well and voices some much needed critique to the current understandings of the Christian's complicated relationship with desire. Well done.

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Attachment theory casserole

Revisado: 01-07-24

Overall good book. Style is good and speaks to the heart of the issue where many other books skirt around the edges.

There are many lines of thinking that she is borrowing from to write this book. It is a lot of Dan Siegel, a whole lot of internal family systems by Richard Swartz, and a good bit of Stephen Porges poly vagal theory. And a good bit of body keeps the score. as an academic, it bothers me that she does not cite these frameworks from the outset, but rather name drops every now and again. She is obviously well read in the many different approaches and synthesizes it to write this book. I just wish she had been clear in what she was doing, and who she was borrowing from.

This book essentially distilled a lot of these theories, and puts it into an attachment theory/ emotionally focused therapy lens. 

One slight criticism I had while reading was that it seemed to be slanted toward a female orientation. As a male with an anxious attachment style, many of the examples, she uses, were obviously given with a female, anxious attachment in mind. As these attachment styles affect, both genders, I would have appreciated a little more balanced treatment.

Another slight critique is that the Examples she uses also highly focuses on the late 20s and early 30s patients. It’s lacks more mature clients who struggle with these attachment styles even in into their older years with 30 year marriages behind them. There are just entirely different gears turning in people in their 50s and 60s than those in their 20s and 30s. Perhaps this book is written with that target audience in mind. As someone in their 40s, I did feel a slight gap. Not huge… but still there.

The line of the book is fairly straightforward with most of the jewels, appearing in the first half. Her perspective and familiarity with anxious attachment is very thorough and nuanced..

You can tell that she is also very experienced with avoidant attachment styles, and I could have benefited from hearing how these two styles play off of and mirror each other in their myriad of ways. There were parts of this book that did bring this into play, but I could’ve used more. :-) overall good book.

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