Rose

Standout and Important

Revisado: 02-05-25

I know that Allison faced a lot of criticism for telling her story and was accused widely of seeking to profit from or exploit her husband’s pain and death. This story is not an expose on Stephen’s pain. In fact, Stephen’s pain is largely only alluded to in the book. Not even Stephen himself could give shape to his demons, not even in his final moments. This story is much, much more about the juxtaposition of intense love and the impact of a devastating crime and the experience of holding and reconciling such extremes. I found this story profound in its sensitive but exacting prose and authentic exploration of suicide’s impact- not only in isolated events but through generations.

Allison’s brave and thoughtful narrative is a standout piece, and those who have endured the helplessness and devastation of a loved one choosing to leave will find comfort. Those of us who have been fortunate enough not to experience such devastation will find enlightenment and guidance in how to support those who have. Those who may be considering suicide will be pushed to consider the impact of their choice. I hope that lives can be saved.

Perhaps most importantly, though, Allison’s story will help to build and expand critical, foundational vocabulary about love and loss and a subject that is too important to be taboo.

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A perfect storm of dysfunction

Revisado: 03-22-24

This is a unique story. It is an interesting anatomy of a marriage that was successful in its depth of love and longevity but ultimately fatally dysfunctional. The narrator is an extremely conflict avoidant enabler, and his wife strikes me as someone with an undiagnosed and unsupported psychiatric disorder (reminded me greatly of someone with autism). Her brilliance hid and rationalized her dysfunction. Ultimately what I felt was sad. These people love each other but ultimately were not able to be what each other most needed.

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I wanted to like it

Revisado: 03-21-24

I really stuck with this book because I so wanted to like it. But all in all, it fell a bit left of the mark for me. It felt a bit like two books jammed together- the first two thirds of the book is a memoir of being a war correspondent, which I was initially excited about. I felt like this was going to be a rich foundation for what I knew was going to be a final act of grappling with one’s own mortality after a lifetime of watching the world grapple with mortality and conflict and inequity. However, I found that the stories and experiences recounted did little to set up the third act. In fact I found it almost superfluous to the author’s central idea. You know how you can tell when someone is telling you a story meant to craft your view of them? Like on a first date, someone tells you the “good parts” story? This book is kind of like that. I found parts of it to be egocentric and self-aggrandizing. The worst parts of which read as self-indulgent: someone who just couldn’t resist telling you how great they are or this great story they like to tell at parties.

The final third (less than that) of the book (roughly 2 hours worth) focuses on the author’s cancer battle. Again I didn’t feel that true vulnerability was achieved here— it read more as someone desperate to downplay the gravity of their circumstances and convince everyone else and themselves that they really are okay out of fear of being pitied.

The biggest disappointment for me was the ratio of telling: showing. I did not feel like I was along for the journey with this author as they wrestled with some of life’s most challenging and authentic moments. It was the literary equivalent of being trapped across a bar from an old rich white guy who thinks he’s the most interesting man in the world and is giving you the best night of your life.

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Wha?

Revisado: 10-04-23

Hated it. Can’t understand where the good reviews are coming from. Female voice is the worst. The male character is creepy AF. The whole time I was wishing he’d end up with his longtime friend at the coffee bar who he had way more chemistry with. Dud👎

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