Escape.to.pages

I’m broken, hiding my pain behind fake smiles and pretend joy. Inside, I’m a mental mess between being tossed into conversion therapy and foster care as a kid. I struggle to focus and suffer anxiety, panic attacks, and nightmares. My passions for skateboarding and bartending make me happy enough. But only Nate, my former foster brother and best friend, calms me and keeps me going forward. I’m not sure what I would do without him. Even worse, I secretly love him. Loving him could mean losing him.

Just the sight of Nico ‘Stix’ Jamieson makes me want to hurt something. Between his stupid smiles on that annoyingly handsome face and the constant drumming of anything that makes a sound with those drumsticks of his, I want to throttle him. No one is that happy. I don’t trust it. Even when my hate for him is clear, he throws it back in my face with a smile and wave. And how he loves to push my buttons when he’s feeling especially obnoxious. If I hate him, then why am I obsessed with him?

When I said I wanted to do it on my own, I didn’t think it’d be so hard. Barely managing to get by wouldn’t be so bad except for the gripping loneliness. I like to flirt, and at times it comes across as desperate, but maybe I am. After flirting with my boss’s brother, I didn’t think it would turn into what it did. After all, isn’t Aaron straight?

My world flipped upside down when my Dad suddenly remarried. What ten-year-old wants that surprise dropped on him? I wasn't expecting my stepbrother to become my best friend, my everything, and the source of my utter confusion. I didn't realize he was hiding something from me, and I didn't mean to see it. It made me question everything.