Jay Leonard

Ya gotta know how to text !!

Revisado: 02-12-24

When I was young, the only ways to ask a woman out was either in person or by dialing some numbers and talking to her ( gulp!!) on the phone. The world has changed. Courtship is now by text.
I found this book to be an eye opener about where I have been going wrong and the importance of good text game. I have always resisted the idea of dating being a game but I think I've been delusional. Like it or not she judges us on our communication skills and style. We have to be smooth.
I have not yet field tested the ideas in this book, but listening to it , it seems to make sense and has taught me that the world has changed. I used to think the best way to get to know each other is to meet right away.
I still do. But in today's world women don't even meet until the guy passes the text test. Hence this book.

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I am a CP

Revisado: 03-11-23

I thought I submit the following review to share with women my thoughts as a CP.
I am a CP ( commitmentphobic man).
I listened to this book on audible and agree with most of it. Her description of me as a card carrying CP is pretty spot on accurate. She knows my type. It took me many years to realize I'm a CP. I always though it was just a matter of finding " the right woman".
But my current the age of 71 I have never been married, engaged, lived with someone, or had any relationship longer than several months. I actually am very open now when I meet women and I tell them at the beginning my history and that I have always had trouble committing. When I was younger I didn't realize it. I just thought she wasn't " the right one" ( usually after we started getting more intimate) .
Nowadays I do not force them to try to pull that information out of me. I tell them. I do not push for sex. I let them decide if they want to get to know me. I don't consider myself a bad person for being a CP. I believe events from my childhood led me to be this way. But I think for some of us CPs it's not going to change. Dr Kelley discusses in her book about a manner of dealing with a CP that may change him. The operant word there is 'may'. For myself, I'm not sure if anything you do, how long you hold off on sex, how aloof you are, etc etc would change my inability to make a durable commitment over time. At some point the aloofness and holding off has to end. I'm speaking for myself, not saying it can't happen. The best I can do is try to be as honest as possible from the beginning and try not to hurt anyone. I've been told by some women I'm too honest. But I think it seems to be the right thing. Maybe women should assume all men are CP until proven otherwise.
Then again, maybe everything I say here would fly out the window if I met " the right woman" :)

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Every Guy Should Read This

Revisado: 09-21-22

Where was this when I was in my 20's!!
I have read books supposed to help shy guys like me be better at approaching and dating. This is the best. It is common sense practical and do-able.
It doesn't rely on gimmicks or changing your fundamental personality. I helps you bring out the best of who you naturally are. I listened to this book on Audible over and over. It really helped me deal with that lifelong challenge ...how do I approach women?
And it also goes into being out on dates , texting, internet dating and more.
If I had a 20 year old son I would make him read or listen to this book. I believe this material to be life changing.

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Tough Love

Revisado: 03-12-19

There are some variables Chris doesn't factor in.
He leans toward putting off the enjoyment of the things money can buy until you retire.
Somehow driving that nice car isn't the same at age 70 as it is at age 45.
But Chris is a financial advisor whose task is to teach us how to retire early and well. The other factor is that not everyone would be happier in retirement than they are working.
For some people working is not only financially but psychologically nutritious, even way after age 65 ( which is very young nowadays).
But this ,again, is not Chris's mandate.
So with these grains of salt, if you are ready to get financially whipped for a few hours for all the things you didnt do because you didnt read this book at age 18 ( shame on high schools and colleges for not teaching about money!) it's a good guideline.
I think finances like life are a balance.
Should you buy anything and everything you want on a whim?
No.
Should you deny yourself all the things you want until you achieve your retirement savings should you live so long? Probably not as well.
Balance grasshopper, balance.

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Not Good

Revisado: 01-21-19

l didn't find this to be very helpful.
The reader has an inanimate voice.
Just not a useful read in my opinion

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Not Very Helpful

Revisado: 01-21-19

I got nothing out of this book.
I cannot recommend it.
Also, the reader sounds moribund.

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esto le resultó útil a 4 personas

I Think This Is The Real Deal

Revisado: 09-29-18

I think this is practical, useful information.
Seems to conform to my personal experience. I have decided to study this book repeatedly.

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Not so good.

Revisado: 07-16-18

The reader sounds feminine, mispronounces words, sounds like he is learning to read.
Might even be a robot.
The matetial is ho hum, didn't find it actionable.
I didn't finish this book

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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas

Good common sense material

Revisado: 05-19-18

Good stuff.
Why couldn't we learn this stuff in high school and college?
So much time wasted and missed opportunities.
Every guy should know this stuff.
The earlier the better.

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esto le resultó útil a 8 personas

very helpful

Revisado: 09-27-17

Very enlightening.
This is a difficult and perplexing problem for those of us that struggle with commitmentphobia.
This book sheds light on this problem and addresses steps to deal with it.

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