OYENTE

B. Shockley

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Excellent as always from this author

Total
5 out of 5 stars
Ejecución
5 out of 5 stars
Historia
5 out of 5 stars

Revisado: 09-20-24

Mike Maloney's content is consistently educational and entertaining. This book was no exception. I would recommend this to both someone who is a novice on the topic and to someone who has studied the topic for years.

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Some useful information

Total
2 out of 5 stars
Ejecución
5 out of 5 stars
Historia
2 out of 5 stars

Revisado: 10-24-18

This is one of the better performed books that I’ve listened too on Audible. It’s clear that the author/narrator is very enthusiastic about the content.

There was some very interesting information about the different theories of how people respond to each other, their environment, and probably most important, themselves. I was undecided whether 2 or 3 stars would be more accurate. While there was new and useful information in this book, I chose 2 stars for some of the following reasons.

Almost from the beginning, this book contained interjections about identity politics that were both distracting and counterproductive. Regardless of one’s politics, these interjections didn’t seem helpful, except perhaps to pander to readers/listeners with similar political opinions. They could also be counterproductive to relationships. After listening to the book, which addressed at length the concepts of “accelerator” and “brake”, I wondered how much of a “brake” resentfulness and anger over identity politics might be. The readers/listeners of course may identify with whatever perspective suits them. However, I questioned what effect those perspectives might have on their interpersonal relationships. I assume the those who share some of the resentments expressed in this book may unconsciously experience “brakes” that could impede or harm their relationships.

The Health at Every Size (HAES) concept advocated in this book is simply destructive. Rather than indulging in the fantasy that one can be “Healthy at Every Size”, the author could have provided a map for leading people toward a lifestyle of wholistic self-care based on a cultivated love for one’s self. The example in this book about how one would be compassionate to a friend, and that the same compassion could be directed toward one’s self was very useful. An honest friend who cares more about their friend’s physical health and fitness would not offer advice that one can be ”healthy at every size”. Instead, a true friend who cares enough to express hard truths and to provide tough love would encourage unhealthy friends to optimize their health and fitness. In the same way that compassion for another could be directed toward ones’ self, so too could the advice to care for and optimize one’s physical well-being be directed toward one’s self. The motivation to do so can be generated internally based on love for one’s self.

Perhaps this last issue is petty, but the word “normal” is continuously used throughout the book. Every condition is described as normal. If everything that exists is normal, then “normal” loses any meaning. Some things that are abnormal, such as intellectual genius, gold-medal-winning athletic performance, and saintly compassion for others, are very desirable. The author could just as easily have advocated to, “enjoy the ways that you’re abnormal when those features help you and manage and/or overcome the ways that are challenging.”

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Very useful perspective on a significant topic

Total
5 out of 5 stars
Ejecución
5 out of 5 stars
Historia
5 out of 5 stars

Revisado: 10-24-18

The performance of this book was very impressive. Not many authors have the charisma or confidence to narrate their own books this well.

The best thing about the advice in this book is that it is very focused on self-awareness. The emphasis is on what one can do to create a healthier relationship. The book spends much less time (if any) engaging in judgment than some relationship books do. There's an underlying sense of positivity associated with having enough agency to be fully responsible for one's part in creating a relationship. The book also contains many accounts of the sad consequences of how relationships can suffer when one or both partners do not properly care for both themselves and their partner.

I would recommend this book to single people as well as those in relationships.

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