Michael C Johnson

Hard to get into

Revisado: 04-21-25

It’s a great story but it’s one of those books that begins every chapter with some exposition and insight from a book written by a genius, who in reality is the author who can’t figure out how to integrate the stuff into the story.

The narration is bad. She has a great sounding voice but the. PACING. of every sentence… has… stopsandstarts… likethatyoutubertomscott… or perhaps… William Shatner. Which isn’t necessarily bad, but in fiction, it makes every character sound the same. The rhythm is tiring. Also, she mispronounces some things like Pago Pago. But technically, it’s very good recording, nice mic, not a lot of obvious re-recordings.

Listen to the sample before buying is what I’m saying. You might like it more than I.

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So freaking dull

Revisado: 09-05-24

Listen to the sample before buying this. It’s so bad.

It’s a neat world and I’ve enjoyed all the Sandman Slim series. This book is terrible. This is one of those books where every other chapter is a fake boring chapter from a dull history book or corporation brochure as world building exposition.

The dialogue is terrible. Everybody speaks a bit formally. So does the narrator. I don’t know if a different narrator could improve it.

The plotting is bad. As soon as something starts moving you get a half hour of the groveling main character and his girlfriend carefully speaking with each other about why they love each other, and why they are so optimistic about their futures.

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Great book, ruined by bad narration

Revisado: 05-12-24

This is one of those audiobooks where a character’s morality is reflected in their voice — meaning the bad guys have loud, obnoxious, grating voices that make you want to strangle them. Like it’s a murderous henchman with three lines in a John Ford Western. Only this is Elmore Leonard, and the bad guy talks at length throughout the book. It’s Elmore Leonard so you’re here for that natural dialogue, but with this audiobook you just want them to shut the fork up already. Listening to the bad guy is punishment.

You don’t need the narrator making the bad guy unlikeable. That’s the author’s job. Give the villain a nice voice. Bad guys can have nice voices. Imagine if Darth Vader sounded like Jimmy Cagney as Al Capone. Oh Han Solo you dirty rat! Or Hannibal Lecter sounding like Gilbert Gottfried as Iago in Aladdin.

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Ridiculous plot and annoying characters

Revisado: 03-10-24

The game’s afoot! Murders murders and more murders but Jared and Sara are on it, guys! Jared’s a defense attorney who whines and has temper tantrums. His wife Sara is a District Attorney in Manhattan! Oh but somebody explains to her, she’s not, somebody else is DA and she’s an Assistant DA. She was just hired after a scandal at her old firm, and she doesn’t know anything about criminal law, like what a subpoena is. But she’s an ADA in Manhattan and she’s not going to let her new boss tell her what to do.

Fortunately there are other dudes who can explain to her the basics of criminal law, how to answer the phone, how to talk to witnesses. They talk to her like she’s an eighth grader in her first mock trial but it’s okay, one is funny and the other has a crush on her. Sara charges ahead and makes a huge mess of everything. All while Jared is defending the bad guys! Hijinks ensue! Bodies pile up! Magical assassins and stolen kisses oh my.

There’s a funny sidekick which is why I didn’t rate it one star.

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75% repetitious exposition

Revisado: 02-24-24

Everything gets explained at least six or seven times. If it’s important, more like twenty times. Forgot what a Confluence is the first fifteen times it was explained? Got yer back! People explain to each other why they want to get a cup of coffee before going into the office. One character explains to another that having a room mate means splitting expenses, so rent would be less. Long epic battles with good guys and villains making long soliloquies about their motives. Stuff like, “As you know perfectly well, since you designed the system” followed by a detailed explanation of the system. A protagonist explains to herself that she doesn’t want to cause innocent children to die.

There’s a really terrible speech given but you know it’s good because people are crying at the profound wisdom and a protagonist reflects on what an amazing orator the dude is.

It’s like paragraphs start with a topic sentence — “she wondered if teamwork might help her, and her colleagues, survive the battle” followed by a paragraph just rephrasing the topic sentence.

Dialogue is terrible. Plotting is terrible. The characters are good. The world building is okay. There’s superheroes. There’s magic and aliens and rock-people and sentient robots and magic-like nanotech and multiple universes. “Truth be told” anything goes.

Oh speaking of cliches there was an amazing opportunity for a clever use of one characters superpower that would have been awesome, but totally whiffed.

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You might like it!

Revisado: 07-09-23

I wish I could just rate it and keep it to myself, in case I found myself considering another Robin Cook audiobook. A lot of people love Robin Cook! I don’t. Anyhow, Audible doesn’t let me record a star rating unless I leave a review. Sorry for writing the least helpful review ever.

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Great concept, plodding story

Revisado: 05-01-23

There are long stretches of this book which are just exposition. Not even from one character awkwardly explaining things to another, but the narrator just going off on long explanations about what happened or could have happened or why something happened, no character involved. The last seven hours are painful.

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Exposition and tropes

Revisado: 04-13-23

There isn’t much there there. Stick figure characters, noble motives rewarded, a plot that keeps its pace through exposition and tropes.

You might like it, I just have to give it a low rating so I don’t buy another of these books.

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Eight hours of plot, twenty hours of exposition

Revisado: 11-17-21

Seriously, one of the story threads is a professor of internettery carefully explaining the details of how their virtual world works to a magic wise little Kalahari bushman who knows little of such modern things, and their long conversations of the Meaning Of It All. This is one of those books where instead of showing you who a character is by showing you what they do, you get some long interior monologue explaining of why they feel the way they do.

Plot's good, concept is neat. Terrible book.

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Low stakes fantasy, in need of editing

Revisado: 05-07-20

It’s like 18 hours of somebody telling you how awesome they are at Skyrim, only it’s not actually Skyrim but a game you suspect they’re making up as they go along. The story all takes place in a VR world, and it’s not terrible as a story — but yet if the protagonist or his friends die, they just respawn a couple miles away. There’s no real stakes, not in the game, and certainly not back in reality. That right there makes for some pretty laughable justifications for people’s motivations, especially all the enslaved players that need to be freed from brutal bondage — because they wouldn’t just commit suicide and respawn back in town all healed up and free?!? And is it really “heroic” to die protecting your friends when that just means you respawn back at camp while they fight on?

You don’t even know the player outside the game. There’s a short prologue but basically it’s a guy and his circle of gamer friends and this new game comes out and they get a subscription so they can play as a group and that’s it. More of the book is dedicated to detailed descriptions of various buffs that affect mana regeneration.

A fair chunk of the audiobook is Luke Daniels reading stats for some piece of loot the narrator picks up, and repetitive system text like “You have attacked a Webwood Horror for 14 points of damage, You have attacked a Webwood Horror for 16 points of damage, You have attacked a Webwood Horror for 13 points of damage,” and dry explanations of every option on a skill tree, and discussions about Oh I Leveled Up Should I Put All Five Points into Strength?!?! and of course NPCs going on about the last thousand years of geopolitics.

And it’s not some underdog story. The protagonist just by chance spawns in a place that sets him up to be a Level 10 player with 29 Renown Points as he fights off monsters and has hearty broscapades with his friends and saves the kingdom and builds a tiny encampment into a thriving hub of commerce and becomes admired by one and all and gives speeches to his admiring followers. And all that happens in one week.

Oh, and sometimes the writing feels like a first draft. There’s a showdown where a spider is referred to as “The Creature” fifty times. Seriously, the phrase “The Creature” is used seven times in fifty seconds. I counted.

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