Kristie

1975 is a time of change in America. The Vietnam War is ending. Muhammad Ali is fighting Joe Frazier. And in the smalltown of Monta Clare, Missouri, girls are disappearing. When the daughter of a wealthy family is targeted, the most unlikely hero emerges—Patch, a local boy, who saves the girl, and, in doing so, leaves heartache in his wake. Patch and those who love him soon discover that the line between triumph and tragedy has never been finer. And that their search for answers will lead them to truths that could mean losing one another.

On the holiday of Wintertide, the New Empire plans to burn the Witch of Melengar and force the Empress into a marriage of their own design. But they didn’t account for Royce and Hadrian finally locating the Heir of Novron—or the pair’s desire to wreak havoc on the New Empire’s carefully crafted scheme.

As one of America's hottest female comedians, Lisa Lampanelli has earned critical acclaim across the country for her no-holds-barred style and ability to make people laugh at their own stereotypes and differences. Now, from the gutter-mouth comedienne who "talks like a truck driver but resembles a '50s housewife" (New York Times) comes her over-the-top, laugh-out-loud memoir, Chocolate, Please.