Blessed D

Years ago, Tabitha Brown started a 30-day personal challenge that she called “I Did a New Thing!” The challenge was simple. Every day she would do something she’d never done before. Sometimes it was something small like trying a new food. Other times, she’d step it up a bit and speak to someone she’d never spoken to before. Still other times, she’d do the hard thing—facing a fear that she had, like having that tough conversation with a friend. No matter what it was, the point was that she was going to take a leap of faith and watch God open up a new lane for her.

After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants.