Malia

Rob Delaney is a hero that people grieving children didn’t know they needed.

Revisado: 08-25-24

Rob Delaney is a hero that people grieving children didn’t know they needed. His book, “A Heart That Works”, spoke to me in ways that only those who have lost a young child to death can understand. The utter helplessness in the hospital, the agonizing moment you realize there is nothing more you can do, your new and loose relationship with your own mortality, a shifted perspective on other losses, how your rainbow now contains the color black, how holidays are now fucked - especially Christmas, and again, just the heartache of losing a child - he so beautifully articulates all of this and more and openly shares with the reader his sacred experience of love and loss and grief. It was such a privilege to read this, to feel validated in my own grief and experience, to not feel so alone. I am still fresh in my grief, so I wept through the entire book. I have an inkling, though, no matter when you read this, you would always weep.

I hope to meet him one day. Not because he is a famous comedian, actor, and author, but because he and I share a unique, but similar life-altering, permanent pain. I want to wrap my arms around him, tell him I am sorry and thank him for sharing in such a profound and accessible and public way what I feel in my heart - the good, the painful, and yes, even the parts of grief that in polite circles you wouldn’t typically air. Grief education is so important and I am grateful he had the courage to do this for the rest of us, for his family, for himself, for his little Henry, for my family. And to hear this in his own voice made it even more meaningful.

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Excellent resource for people who have lost children

Revisado: 12-10-23

Excellent resource for people who have lost children. The author is Christian and brings her faith into the text so be prepared for that. She is also several years away from the death of her adult daughter so for those who have recently lost a younger child, you will need to take some of the “hopeful” advice with a grain of salt. It’s hard to explain what I mean unless you have lost a child. Still the same, she continually acknowledges that there is no formula, no timeline, and that all grief is different so that is helpful. I have been reading a lot of books, trying to find comfort, direction, community while in the depths of grief and her books are really helpful.

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Really great read to explain the fluidity of grief and grieving

Revisado: 06-26-23

Really great read to explain the fluidity of grief and grieving. Relatable, makes you feel like you are not alone. Wish there would have been more focus on those who have lost children, but I realize that is a more niche subject. This was a helpful and insightful read. Much of it resonated. Would recommend to anyone who has lost someone.

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So helpful, validating. I wish those who have not experienced grief would read this.

Revisado: 06-17-23

So helpful, validating. I wish those who have not experienced grief would read this. Losing someone you love is such a devastating and life-changing event. It’s hard to know how to communicate your pain, articulate your needs. It is so lonely. This book validates all of the mixed emotions, the heavy pain, the confusion we carry and gives grievers permission to be where they are as long as they need to be. The book is focused on general grief, but the author lost her partner so keep that in mind. It also gives gentle and direct instruction to those who wish to support those who are grieving. I highly recommend.

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Excellent book that captures the depths of my grief

Revisado: 05-31-23

This is an excellent book that captures the depths and agonizing pain of my grief. I was especially appreciative that this was specific to the loss of a child as this type of loss is so different than any other type of loss. I felt understood and wished everyone could read this because they would get a small glimpse into what I am feeling right now. I felt as if the author and I were mourning together. I didn’t feel so alone. I would recommend this to anyone who has lost a child.

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Tragic and beautiful page-turner

Revisado: 12-31-22

Someone I know mentioned that this was a page-turner. I had no idea what this was about when I first started it, but it was one of those books where you had to read and then put it down because it was heavy, but then you had to pick it back up because you were so invested in these women and seeing what happened next. It’s a story that is both tragic and hopeful. Not sure I could read it again because of its weightiness, but it is definitely worth a read.

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Moving and compelling. Must read.

Revisado: 06-19-22

This was a very touching and compelling read. All throughout I was moved by the author’s struggles and resiliency as she shared her story. More than once I was reminded of how abundant my life is and just how much I take for granted. It was a humbling and gentle and welcome reminder. It did a beautiful job of humanizing the struggles of immigrants or those living in poverty. Loved it. Highly recommend.

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So offensive to the Hawaiian people.

Revisado: 04-16-22

I did NOT finish this book, but the only way to add commentary was to indicate that I had so that is my first disclaimer. My second is that I am not an expert in Hawaiian history, hence my desire to read more about my people. That said, I could not stomach going beyond the first couple of chapters because of the way the author wrote about the Hawaiian people - referring to them as savages, thieving and unintelligent people (until they were taught better), promiscuous and desperate to mate with the superior race (the white man), immoral (thank goodness for the missionaries who came to correct their ways), etc. It made me sick to my stomach. The author also spoke about Capt. James Cook in a reverenced tone, being sure to point out that Cook was faithful to his wife and felt really sorry about bringing diseases to the islands but that it probably wasn’t his crew’s fault because the Polynesian women were so promiscuous that they had most likely gotten diseases from other explorers. In the end, it was awful and I couldn’t finish it. Whether or not this author is a scholar, the lens through which he writes is clearly Eurocentric, white, male. To me, if you truly wished to give an historical account of a native people and their lands you would also bring in the voices of Native Hawaiian scholars and would treat the land and the people with respect with your writing. He did not do this. Don’t add this to your library or listen. Not worth your time or money. I’m truly baffled by the number of high reviews this has received.

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Some essays were great, others were just ok

Revisado: 02-12-22

I am a huge fan of Bel Canto. It is one of my favorite books. And reading other people’s reviews of this particular book created some high expectations for me. Many of the essays within were really wonderful and moving, but I also felt there were some that were just ok. I suppose it is unfair to expect every inclusion to be a hit, but that’s why I would give this one a 3.5 stars instead of a 4. That said, the essays that were good, were really good.

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