Mikiedude

This is Alabaster Penitentiary... Where they send you when the world thinks you're dead. And trust me, you'll wish you were. We're the stain on society. The freaks, the creeps, your favorite Netflix documentaries come to life. They lock us up and throw away the key, because we deserve it. But not me. I'm just a lowly bank robber. I don't belong here, surrounded by psychopaths and killers with no remorse... At least, I don't think I do.

You think you know me. That's the way I want it. Making you feel like we know each other - like we could go grab a beer sometime - is part of my job. Maybe the most vital part. It doesn't hurt that I'm easy on the eyes, single at 35, and born richer than sin. My aesthetic matters much more than it should, but all the better for my worthy cause. And it's a worthy cause. I've made an art out of making you feel good, and my influence makes you want to be good. Good like me. You think you know me, but you don't. Everyone has secrets. Mine could cost me everything.

As they recount the events surrounding the disappearance of their toddler—one with a tendency to bite—two parents cope with grief in vastly different ways. While the father wrestles with feelings of guilt, the mother is convinced she’s spotted the boy in frightening TV news reports...though let’s just say he looks nothing like the precocious little boy they remember from a decade ago.

It's almost Christmas, and Emery Hazard finds himself face to face with his own personal nightmare: going on a double date with his partner - and boyhood crush - John-Henry Somerset. Hazard brings his boyfriend; Somers brings his estranged wife. When a strange call interrupts dinner, however, Hazard and his partner become witnesses to a shooting. The victims: Somers' father and the daughter of a high school friend. The crime is inexplicable. There is no apparent motive, no connection between the victims, and no explanation for how the shooter reached his targets.

Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson ( Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.