Serryna

Paint your toes. Pick up the wrong coffee and bagel order. Drive from Brooklyn to Jersey in traffic so slow you want to tear your hair out. It’s amazing all the useless things I can accomplish while on hold for three hours with customer service. Three hours when I should be getting the Date-in-a-Box website ready to launch at the big business expo in a few days. Except my shiny new website is glitching, and my inner rage-monster is ready to scorch some earth...when he finally picks up. Not the robot voice I expected but a real live human named Kal.

Three keys to claiming Wonderland's throne: 1. Win over the citizens (who are caught up in a drug-fueled daze). 2. Recover the magical artifacts of my royal line (which are hidden behind a squad of brutal guards). 3. Draw on the love of the three most extraordinary men I've ever met (one of whom is held captive by a tyrant queen). Okay, I've got my work cut out for me. But my people and my lovers are counting on me. I won't give up this wondrous land. There's a new queen in town. The Hearts and Diamonds had better get ready to bow down.