William

Avoid at all costs

Revisado: 03-01-22

I hate to leave negative reviews, I certainly cannot write a novel so to pass judgement on someone who can seems a bit harsh. That said this author (like anyone trying to make a living) took a job where they had to do a movie novelization so I don’t hold them fully accountable for this garbage. The “twists” if you can really call them that are the type of thing a group of geeky 12 year old boys would come up with during a sleepover. I’m going to try hard to avoid spoiling things but I have one nagging question…………..how do you secretly transport a giant albino (SPOILER) from NYC to Louisiana?!?!?!?!? Talk about a plot hole…I suppose maybe there’s a small chance that was answered but by that point my brain had shut down and was barely firing electricity and my eyes had rolled back so far into my head that I was staring at the inside of my own skull. Again just to reiterate I don’t fully hold the author responsible, sometimes your paid to take a crap movie and put it down on paper and if your not Stephen King and need to earn a living at your craft you accept the job, doesn’t reflect your storytelling abilities, sometimes you can only polish a turd so much.

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Horrendous

Revisado: 09-28-15

There wasn't a single second of this book that I enjoyed, I WANTED to like it but I just couldn't. The story was predictable and tired, the old man was over the top and therefore moments that could have been funny just weren't because they were trying too hard, and the narrator....well I guess he wasn't all that bad but for me he was extremely annoying. I see that a lot of people really liked this book and that's good, as with most things its all about personal opinion, I wish I could say I was one of the people who enjoyed it but unfortunately I am not. On the plus side I will be getting my credit back so theres that...

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esto le resultó útil a 6 personas

WARNING: BAD NARRATION!!!

Revisado: 09-28-15

What disappointed you about Phantoms?

The problem with "Phantoms" isn't the story itself but rather its with the horrendous narration. The man narrating (Buck Schirner) very CLEARLY has a lisp and a pretty bad one at that! This man should not be a professional narrator, its as simple as that, nothing against him and I'm sure having a conversation with the man is pleasant enough but its almost impossible to sit through this performance without feeling like you need to reach up and wipe spit off of your face every few minutes. Now have that in your ears for the almost 15 hours that this audiobook lasts...it almost borders on becoming maddening.

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Meh.

Revisado: 06-21-14

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I'm a big fan of the Netflix series so I figured I'd pick up the actual book to accompany my viewing experience. I did so fully expected the book to be very different as any sensible person would.
The performance and storyline were okay, but I have never read a biography where the author was more in love with themselves than this one. After a short initial apology to everyone in her family and circle of friends for what she has put them through in the first few chapters the book, the story then dives head first into an endless cycle of self congratulatory self-love the likes of which I have rarely seen. Every chapter is designed to highlight how absolutely great Piper is, from how blown away the inmates are by how many more gifts and packages she receives than anyone else in the prison because she is so beloved by all, to how many people are amazed that someone as beautiful as she is wound up in prison, to how almost every character tells her how they never thought they would ever meet a friend as amazing as she is in prison, even when she discusses someone else's positive qualities it all boils down to then crying over the fact that Piper was able to see said trait within them....its strictly written to be a nonstop pat on the back from start to finish. Not to mention how she portrays the prison as an endless series of villains....I'm sorry Piper but you DID break the law and you were there to be punished end of story, at no time was it meant to feel like some high end hotel. I'll still watch the show but I've personally found a new level of disgust for the actual real life Piper Kerman.

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esto le resultó útil a 5 personas

Disappointing

Revisado: 07-30-12

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I'm a big fan of monster books and the author is a local guy so I decided to give his book a whirl...this is a choice I'd regret.
While I applaud his efforts and certainly recognize hes more talented than I am in this area since I havent written a book and he has, overall I was very disappointed with this listen. Its not all his fault, it suffered much from the narration as well as the fact that audible should have this listed under christian fiction. I'm a catholic and so its not like I was offended by the heavy handed religious skew to the book but I'd still like to know what exactly I'm purchasing especially since I dont like books, movies or TV shows that try to brow beat me with some hidden message. The dialouge was cheesy beyond belief and it didnt help that when voicing the main character the narrator sounded so much like Charlie Sheen I couldnt take it seriously, add to that the fact that hes delivering lines lifted from some 1980's action flick that would make Schwarzanegger wince and it becomes almost a joke. His voice for the main villain was ridiculous as well, and speaking of the main villain theres really not a good enough reason to be doing the things he does or his level of obsession with the creature. His main driving force is boredom.....really??? Funny enough but while listening to this book that was mine as well.

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Loved it!

Revisado: 07-26-12

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Great story and a great listen. The narrator was absolutely perfect and never came across as "too much" like some narrators do. This story was imaginative and had so much humor injected into it I couldnt help but smile almost the whole reading. The only complaint I have is that the very end got a little confusing but it was easily forgivable.
Mostly I read horror but Im glad I branched out for this one, well worth a listen!

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Rare case of the movie being better.

Revisado: 07-26-12

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Like I said this is one of those extremely rare cases where the movie was better than the novel. For the most part it was truly enjoyable but the ending was abrupt and so anti-climatic I couldnt get over it (I can really see why it was changed for the film). The narrator does a pretty good job, he even sounds alot like Chief Brody from the actual film. One area where he doesnt do well though is his female voices, this is a common problem with male narrators trying to capture female inflections but with this narrator it was really coming across as sounding like David Spades "gap girl" voice from old episodes of SNL and it became distracting.
Overall I'd say give it a listen, I mean afterall its JAWS.

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