Matthew Burch

Feels overly long, needs pruning/rework edits.

Revisado: 07-14-21

I like the premise of the book, but it is not up to the standards of quality I expect from Modesitt. For example, the romantic interest ended up basically being a few thousand words of content describing several meals, one request for data, and almost nothing else. That one information request that moved the story forward could have easily been provided via another source, without describing several meals. As I said, it feels to me like this book lacked a critical editor.

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Good story with two mostly forgivable flaws.

Revisado: 10-26-20

Like many other authors in the litrpg genre, the author tends to latch onto certain words and overuse them time after time in some scenes. An investment in Grammarly or similar proofreading software would be a good idea.

The author also overuses personal names in relating events. Using a character's name a dozen times in a few sentences is overkill. Learning to reference actions by specific individuals via indirect identification AND building writing skills to better identify actors based on inherent story structure would dramatically improve the author's writing.

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Good world building - some constructive criticism

Revisado: 09-25-20

I liked this well enough that I will be reading at least one more of the series.

Three things that the author needs to work on, if they have not done so already.

1. Word repetition. Every now and then the author will fixate on an adjective and use it many times in a short time. A writing tool like Grammarly can help identify excessive same-word usage.

2. Said. Said. Said. Said. There are many different ways to indicate someone is saying something, and it is frequently quite possible to get away with not clearly stating the speaker. This is similar to #1 but is a different writing component.

3. Frequent occurrences of multiple terse sentences with repetitive components that could be easily combined into a single sentence. Don't be afraid of writing longer sentences rather than five or six short snippet sentences.

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esto le resultó útil a 1 persona

Book is not associated with the rest of the series

Revisado: 08-26-20

It has been many years since I read the series, but I thought I remembered the original books were a series of five. I was correct. Audible does not include this book. the fifth book, as part of 'The General' series.

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Book is not properly connected to the series.

Revisado: 06-03-20

When you look at the Dungeon World series in Audible, the series only has 4 books. This book, book 5, is not connected with the rest of the series.

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esto le resultó útil a 1 persona

Good book but FAR from the first LITRPG

Revisado: 05-02-20

The oldest LITRPG I know of was the Guardians of the Flame series by Joel Rosenberg. the first book in the series was written in 1983. Sure, the RPGs of the day were pen, paper, and dice, but Mr. Rosenberg might have been the first author to successfully write a solid story based on protagonists taken from the real world and dropped into a RPG world.

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esto le resultó útil a 1 persona

Hardcore porn alert

Revisado: 03-29-20

The first book in this series had hardcore nonhuman porn. It seemed that the author learned how to write non-porn fiction in the second book of the series, but a couple hours into the third book proved this is not the case. More porn. I listen while I drive, and really do NOT appreciate arousing distractions at highway speeds. Stopped listening about 1/3 of the way into the book when one hardcore porn scene started leading directly into another. Author has now made my 'do not buy' list.

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esto le resultó útil a 6 personas

Much better than the first book

Revisado: 03-27-20

This book has references to adult content, but no in-your-face alien porn. The development of the Hobgoblin King partly offsets the Gary Stu issues, but not entirely. Honestly, the Hobgoblin King is a better written character than the main character. I would love to read a book from his point of view. It was a good enough read that I will try the next book in the series.

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There is some pretty hardcore nonhuman porn here.

Revisado: 03-25-20

This really should be considered a hybrid of nonhuman porn, fantasy, and LitRPG. The author might also want to examine the concept of Mary Sue / Gary Stu characters, so they can learn to avoid them. Still, well enough written that I didn't delete it in disgust. Author has promise if they can learn to avoid stereotypical new author mistakes. Will read the next in series to see if there was any learning between book 1 and 2.

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esto le resultó útil a 11 personas

Lots of lowbrow humor but still quite fun to read.

Revisado: 01-18-20

Personally, I am expecting Jim to think about how to synergize more advanced biological aeromancy spells with fire magic. Specifically, a long term biological aeromancy spell that is area effect. Lots of people passing gas constantly for a minute or more. Then throw a flame bolt. Or just a torch.

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