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Witch Briar Wyngrave's time is limited. The wasting curse that killed his mother is coming for him too, consuming his magic bit by bit. At least he'll have the chance to make his name as a magical fashion designer with an elite placement in Pentawynn, the country's glittering capital, after graduation. Until, that is, a prophecy sends him to the remote island of Coill Darragh instead, in search of a predestined lover with a mysterious mask.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Paul Auster doesn't. Paul doesn't believe in much at all. He's thirty, slightly overweight, and his best features are his acerbic wit and the color commentary he provides as life passes him by. His closest friends are a two-legged dog named Wheels and a quasibipolar drag queen named Helena Handbasket. He works a dead-end job in a soul-sucking cubicle, and if his grandmother's homophobic parrot insults him one more time, Paul is going to wring its stupid neck.

Heather Holzengruber's world is a mess, all thanks to the Enpathians: a race of telepathic aliens who have invaded Earth and brainwashed most of the citizens into becoming happy little drones. She's lonely and feeling more than a little hopeless.... Until a certain dashing galactic crusader shows up.