Guy G

Paradigms are foundational, a must

Revisado: 01-18-25

I've known Paul since 2018 and I've seen him grow from then into what he is now a powerhouse of actionable information (some might say he's a Bauerhouse).

As I've followed Paul along his ride I've grown tremendously, I have his LOA course (he changed my mind on LOA), I have followed his podcast since it's first episode. I have learned and grown so much from knowing him and now comes his book on Paradigms and I don't want to say I was surprised, cause I saw everything leading up to this, how could this not have been the outcome? An incredible book.

Paradigms are ESSENTIAL to growth as all growth is built upon the foundation of your mind and your mind works on your paradigms how ever you acquired and shaped them.

Read this book to recognize harmful paradigms and create new and powerful paradigms that have you working as a hero instead of a victim.

It all starts here so start this book ASAP

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Extremely neurotic and insecure, not my experience

Revisado: 01-17-25

Neuroticism and insecurity scream off these pages and that was not my experience at all. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6 and I am now 46. I was never a people pleaser, I never pretended to like a band I didn't, not a movie or a TV show. I was highly opinionated throughout my whole life and more than vocal.

If I thought what you liked sucked I was going to let you know it. Obsessions? For sure, I am a walking encyclopedia on my interests. I relate to a lot of things in the book and a lot of tips are helpful but they are written from the perspective of someone with ADHD that is also an introvert and highly neurotic.

I've had my share of neuroticism in my life but not on the level I'm reading in this book, it must be unbearable to be around. I also didn't have a challenge maintaining friendships long term. I am still friends with those from going back to when I was 12 years old and I make an awesome friend and an even more formidable enemy.

I think in black and white and I feel in black and white, if I love you I LOVE you and if I hate you I HATE you and I'm was never shy or shy about the way I felt and I made friends very easily.

I was severely abused as a child so yeah, a lot of bad habits and trouble but I was on the offensive not evasive. This book is more for introverts with ADHD than those like myself that didn't struggle with half the things the author did simply because of extroversion.

I've had massive addictions to drugs; IV speedballs, heroin, crack, meth, I went all the way. I am closer to Dave Mustaine than I am Nivek Ogre.

There are a lot of benefits to ADHD but as long as RSD exists I can not frame it as a superpower and mearley a disability only because society doesn't learn in the same manner. No, it's a disorder, it's not functional in any society, What society is my RSD going to be of benefit to me under any societal framework? How can you make it be a benefit? It doesn't add up to me.

There are far more downsides to ADHD than benefits and to force frame it as a superpower seems like a rather simple coping method.

Now onto my biggest issue with this book, "Our Love Languages" (communication primarily in romantic relationships), you can not negotiate desire as Rollo Tomassi says and this is negotiation.

Date night gets mentioned here, not spontaneous monkey sex, date night. In fact affection is not really mentioned at all, it's all about communication which sounds to me as like a transactional relationship rather than one that runs on genuine burning desire.

If you are a guy taking romantic or relationship advice from this book you are probably looking for or have already ended up with a glorified roommate rather than a girlfriend. Sex as a reward not because she wants to tear your cloths off and that is not for me.

Guys reading this book need to read it alongside Frame, Praxeology Vol 1 by Rian Stone. Love languages are a recipe for a partnership not a girlfriend and I am not running a business I am romantically involved.

Also on YouTube look up Come on Man The 5 Love Languages are Bullsh*t with ApexMindset to understand why the love languages are incredibly absurd and counterproductive.

I am fairly uncompromising and drugs got in the way of my relationships not my behaviors off of them.

I fought like hell to maintain my identity as a child, I was not a conformist by any means what so ever and guys like me are not represented in this book.

There is too much demand for accommodation as well, having to inform and onwards. I prefer to force my way in situations and have the surroundings form around me because I'm awesome and people like me not because I'm weak, sensitive, vulnerable and needy

Breeding resentment through incessant requests/demands on those around me, having to hide and when I'm around those around me need to walk on eggshells is not for me.

There is a part of me that hopes the author is wise enough not to read comments and reviews so his RSD doesn't get triggered (and if you are reading this it's not personal) but it's more important to me that guys wake up to particularly the romantic relationship fallacies in this book.

Take what you need and leave the rest but if you don't know what to leave you can end up in divorce court also with ADHD. Hypergamy doesn't care if you have ADHD, society doesn't care, I am not responsible for my having ADHD but it is my responsibility to deal with it.

Perhaps I'm just not financially successful enough to be able to make such demands on my surroundings but I don't think I would if I could.

So why am I reading this book if I was diagnosed at 6 and only Now it All Make Sense? Because I thought ADHD was bullspit my whole life until recently. Everybody insisted I had ADHD but nobody took the time to explain to me what it was.

Constantly hearing people blame loosing their car keys on undiagnosed ADHD I just though it was made up to sell medication. When I learned about RSD just 2 months ago I was DEVASTATED, it was 100% me on the nose, I was crushed and the ADHD podcast I heard was like they read me as a case study.

It was time to accept my ADHD and that's what lead me to ADHD Chatter and thus this book all in a matter of a couple of months this happened and yes, now it does all make sense and this book is helpful in that, but it is too one sided and that side is introversion.

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Incredible insights and data!

Revisado: 03-03-20

An incredible analysis of the highly flawed recovery and medical system and also includes her personal story and experience.

I read this book after reading In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate which I think is the best book on addiction I've ever read but where I believe Gabor goes wrong is in his high regard for 12 step programs which unlike the rest of his material is not backed up but scientific literature.

Not Maia though, sharp and we'll deserved criticism is aimed at AA/NA 12 step programs. She discects them like a surgeon. Though she does have some positive things to say about them it's well in proportion and she makes a strong case that they should not be intertwined with the medical system.

Gabor Mate also quotes Maia in his book so you know she's real quality material.

Anyway check out one of her many interviews first, you will have to buy the book after you hear her!

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