Elizabeth Kahle

This author is G L A C I A L

Revisado: 06-16-24

Good Lord. This author is going to describe the action of her story slower than a snail on tranquilizers. Which is to say - nothing is going to happen in the book. Like ever. And I am SO disappointed, because the premise seemed cute! And the author clearly knows about lettering and calligraphy, and has clearly fantasized a world where our heroine makes tons of money and earns lots of enviable respect doing it. But my gosh. She takes 4 chapters just for the hero to walk down the street. Tell your story, girl. Move along. Pick up the pace. Write the book.

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I'm going to teach you how to read this book...

Revisado: 11-17-22

And you'll thank me, because this is absolutely the slo o o o o o owest book ever written. At 7 hours and 28 minutes, I'm going to, without exaggerating, estimate that we spend about 5 hours and 59 minutes of it in repetitive, circular, cyclical inner monologue. She literally wonders the same thing over ... and over ... and over again.

But it's an interesting story premise. I listened to the first four chapters fully. That was enough to whet my appetite and cause me to resist DNF'ing because I wanted to know Hannah's mysterious birth story. I fast forwarded through almost everything, and managed to get the story using the following listening guide that I wrote down as I went. I kid you not. This is how I listened, and I honestly recommend you do too:

First Four Chapters.
I figured out that the book was going to be slow from the beginning, but I wasn't annoyed yet, and I hadn't realized that it was going to be *unbearably* *interminably* slow. So I recommend Chapters 1-4. You'll get the characters that way, and you'll get one important name from a birth certificate. And you'll get the story setup as to how Hannah ends up on this unearthing adventure in the first place.

Then:

Skip to Chapter 12. Listen to the first sixty seconds.

Skip to Chapter 13. Listen to the first sixty seconds.

(I kid you not. You'll truly get everything you need just from that.)

Now let's start unraveling the mystery.

Skip to Chapter 15. Listen to the first eight minutes.

Start Chapter 16 at the 32-minute mark, and listen until the 36-minute mark. Just those four minutes, and move on.

Skip to Chapter 17. Listen to the first five minutes. You'll get one final piece of the mystery here.

Now you can see how it all ends, and what those last two conversations are - how Hannah makes peace with it all:

Skip to Chapter 19 and start a minute nine. Listen all the way to the end and consider the book well read.




Now - you might have some lingering questions. I don't, but you might. This method obviously isn't for you if you find yourself super curious about the exact how's and why's. If you're like me and you want to know "What's the big secret???" but you *don't* want to risk throwing your phone out the nearest window onto a highway for its mind-numbing repetitiveness, this is the way. You're welcome!

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Awesome! It only needed one thing.

Revisado: 06-02-20 El oyente recibió este título gratis

What a fun experience this was. I'm brand new to this author and narrator. The narrator bugged me a little bit in the beginning, but for whatever reason, soon she grew on me and I began to adore the sound of her voice, all young and sounding exactly like I imagine our protagonist does.

The story is written in present tense, which serves the feeling of immediacy, yes, but because of that, it lacked one thing - a likeable boyfriend from the outset.

The trouble is, that because the book's tagline AND the first line of its summary copy reads: "He was perfect. At first." And because the summary goes on to tell the whole plot of the book, we already know from the minute we meet Kieran that he's going to turn into our story's villain. Thus, we see right through him. I didn't like him from the outset and it bothered me that our smart young heroine did. --combined with the present tense narration-- you can see how I was reduced to live football game yellings of "That's a red flag!" and "You little jerk, that's uncool and kind of creepy too."

But it's a YA and a really good one at that. And a warning story on what might happen if you neglect your parenting duties and then their other parent does too. She's smart but none of this would have happened if her family had been paying attention. (Although, don't get me wrong, the author did a great job of creating organic reasons why everything happens the way it does. It's not contrived, it felt real.)

I don't like that boyfriend enough to read it again, but I did enjoy the ride and my dive into Chloe's mind. She's cool, you'll like her.

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Wtf was that? Rape, anger, fights, extremely dislikable people

Revisado: 05-19-20

I adore regency romance, and let me just say in the first sentence that I love Lindy Nettleton - here and everywhere.

But what happened, Marion Chesney? M.C. Beaton? What WAS that? The hero NEVER finds redemption. He exhibits no likable behavior at any point throughout the book. He's an actual rake, an actual beast, an actual monster - who never comes around. What was the point? There was no love, no romance. He buys her a necklace. That's literally the only nice thing he does. And even then, he throws it at her.

What was that.

I'm in shock. If that were my first Marion Chesney book, I would never pick up another.

The book ended before love (OR EVEN A MILD LIKING) entered the story at all. I hated every single person I met in this book, and I'm glad some of them died. Now if we could remove that disgusting show of rape and those physical marital attacks, we might have something.

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It is with heavy heart that I return

Revisado: 12-11-19

I’m an incredible Stephanie Plum audiobook fan, therefore it is with a heavy heart that I press Return on this book and purchase a Kindle to continue the series visually.

Everybody just ADORES Lorelai King’s narration, and she’s good, she really is. But in my opinion, she misses the spirit of Stephanie. She rushes her narration, she falls short and doesn’t give her inner thoughts and sarcastic quips the inflection they deserve.

Anybody can read Janet Evanovich’s words on the page, but it takes a special skill to communicate the eyebrow twitch, the lusty love triangle, the hip pop, the ineptitude. The hilarity.

I don’t laugh at the book like I did with the narrator of the first four, CJ Critt. And I don’t adore Stephanie. So I have to draw the line.

(Also her Ranger suuuuuuucks, but other reviewers have said that, so no need to harp on it.)

I gave it a fighting chance. But I have to protect my love for Plum & The Gang. Goodbye Lorelai King. And Stephanie, I’ll be reading you :)

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Exactly Perfect

Revisado: 11-24-19

This goldmine find is exactly the idea of perfection you think it is. David Tennant is A+ flawless, dramatically and hysterically belting out his characters. Soundscape is awesome, well-chosen in sparing spots. Story is wonderful, and a charming introduction to this author’s incredible imagination. Fill your home or your car or your office with this magical trip.

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If you're confused, that's normal

Revisado: 11-04-19

Look, I... I don't need an author to hand hold me through his or her story. I'm a smart girl, I can follow your clever descriptions and character allusions the way you want me to. But THIS. This was super rough. It was like the author had a fully formed and detailed picture in her head and could make veiled references to complex concepts - but the rest of us who live outside her head have no idea what she's talking about.

She'll say something like, "It was frightening, but then again that's how the Grays often looked, ever since the incident. The room filled with smoke and..." and you're like, "Wait wait go back! What is a gray? Is that a person or a club? What incident? I don't understand that sentence."

Coupled a huge bog-down of description. Everything is "feathering," or "thudding on the hollow metallic path." Oh my goodness just tell me your story please. I bet it's a good one! If we could ever get there.

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esto le resultó útil a 3 personas

They won't let me give 100 stars!

Revisado: 12-19-18

This book is UNBELIEVABLE. Amazing. Well-handled, properly paced, appropriately intricate yet wonderfully easy to follow. The narration is A+, nice job Julia Whelan. And there's a discussion between the authors at the end, in which they walk you through their writing process.

I'm not sure how to help you along in your purchase decision, what specifics you need to pull the trigger, but you should just trust me and do it. Just go in blind and believe whatever you want, and trust the authors to weave an amazing story for you. 18,000 reviewers clocking in at 4.5 stars can't be wrong. Enjoy!

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Amazing, Enthralling, Vivid

Revisado: 05-21-17

I placed my trust in this all-dialogue, no-prose version only because Orson Scott Card wrote it himself. I was not disappointed. The cast is made up of superbly skilled actors who bring the story to life moreso than I've ever experienced with any other audio production.

Kirby Heyborne is PHENOMENAL as Ender, his voice clear and strong, and surprisingly believable as a young child's.

You will not be disappointed. You'll listen more than once.

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Feel free to give it a chance, you'll enjoy!

Revisado: 12-17-16

This book is certainly interesting, to say the least. Promise to keep an open mind, and you'll be fine.

Asa Akira skillfully and helpfully mixes personal stories of her lengthy career in porn (it is still ongoing), with explanations of how the industry works. She considerately explains slang terms and widely accepted practices within the business that one would have no other way of knowing.

I have nothing but respect for her writing skills, and her verbal reading skills. Her voice is clear and crisp. The producer needs to find a new job though. The volume regularly drops and rises at random intervals for no discernible reason. I often thought the battery on my speaker was dying and would jump to rescue it.

Asa is totally forthcoming, she sugarcoats nothing - even stories that are not favorable to her reputation. But her honesty is endearing, and she makes no apologies. Only offers to learn from her mistakes, hopefully, the next time.

Enjoy learning something new about something new. Just, don't listen out loud where young or innocent ears can overhear. Asa holds nothing back in terms of colorful language and vivid descriptions.

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