Charlie

One of the most embarrassingly bad narrations I've ever heard

Revisado: 07-07-24

I've been a huge fan of Saylor's Roma Sub Roma books, and was rereading them over the long weekend. I decided to treat myself to the audiobook version of Arms of Nemesis, to listen to while I did some gardening, and made the mistake of not trying a sample first.

First off, the narrator is just all wrong for this kind of period noir material -- he sounds at all times like he's trying to sell you a used car or entertain children with sock puppets, not immerse you in a foreign world of intrigue.

But beyond that, his pronunciation of Roman names and places is stumbling and clumsy throughout. He doesn't understand how suffixes are used in Roman names -- for example, how "Claudii" (CLOD-ee-eye) would mean "of the house of Claudius." Instead, every time one of these names comes up in the narrative he pronounces it like he's just seen a mouse: "clod-EEEEE."

The most grating example of this is with the lead character, whose name -- Gordianus (GORD-ee-AH-nuss) -- is mentioned literally hundreds of times throughout, and every time the narrator pronounces it like the first and last name of a Canadian man: Gordy Anus. He makes it sound like you're reading the story of a professional hockey player who's turned to pornography.

Whether you're a longtime fan of Saylor or this is your first time diving into the world of Gordianus the Finder, do yourself a favor and start anywhere but here. This is an embarrassment.

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Klosterman at his safest

Revisado: 02-13-22

Klosterman is at his best when balancing the highbrow with the low, and he's back in his element here, with another collection of engaging, clever and insightful essays that combine pop culture, sports, metaphysics and philosophy -- this time against the backdrop of an often overlooked decade. But as a longtime fan of his work (as far back as Fargo Rock City), this outing felt more strained than his earlier collections (up to and including But What If We're Wrong, which I consider his high watermark).

There's a lot more throat clearing, for one, with the author interrupting his own momentum on multiple occasions to assure you that what you're hearing is merely his straight white male perspective, and no more valid than anyone else's. This is inarguably the case -- but If it's so important to him to make this clear, why not include it at the start of the book as a disclaimer, instead of constantly derailing the very ideas and perspectives everybody's here for?

Klosterman comes off as cautious to the point of unconfident writing in this new climate, with a hesitance his books never exhibited before. It's a shame coming from someone who built a career voicing contrarian, heterodox opinions you weren't likely to hear anywhere else. It's as if he's already imagining someone reading his book in bad faith, looking for reasons to tear him apart on Twitter, and is trying to anticipate their criticisms with every sentence he writes. It's a terrible way to author a book of ideas, and it leads to some of the more skippable chapters, with Klosterman continuously recontextualizing some benign aspect of the nineties through the lens of, for example, feminist rhetoric about toxic masculinity.

I have no issue with an author tackling a bygone era through the lens of contemporary politics, especially if they have something unique and authentic to say about that contrast. But here it feels rote, like the checklist of someone whose only goal is not getting in trouble. I found myself doing something more than once that I've never done with a Chuck Klosterman audiobook before: skipping to the next chapter.

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Great Ideas and Concepts, Irritating Characters

Revisado: 11-18-17

Before I get into some of the negative aspects of this series, full disclosure: I've burned through all three books of the series in the last week. Poorly written or not, the Bobiverse series is highly addictive.

Its greatest strength are in its ideas -- if you're more of a "plot" person than a "character" person, you'll get a lot more out of this series. Its procedural problem-solving and engaged explanations of scientific concepts was reminiscent of Andy Weir's The Martian. This is a series that's wholly concerned with the "how", and if you've got the kind of brain that likes taking apart watches to see how they work, and prefers a solitary life to the company of others, I doubt you'll find much to dislike.

The Bobiverse's greatest weakness lies in its characters -- or, given that this is a story about a duplicated consciousness, it's character. "Bob" is a thoroughly irritating, sarcastic protagonist who loves all concepts scientific but, like a lot of engineers I know, sees other forms of creativity as something foreign. Bob doesn't "make jokes" -- Bob parrots comedy lines from movies and TV shows he likes. Bob proclaims a fierce individuality, but every form of self-expression is to "borrow" a name, a reference or a phrase from an existing intellectual property. In true Gary Stu fashion, every non-Bob character finds his tone-deaf sarcasm and stale references endearing and hilarious. Imagine listening dubiously as someone told you they quoted Ace Ventura at a party and everyone laughed so hard they cried and you'll get the sense of most of this book series.

The narrator doesn't help, offering these interactions with a hammy, Chandler-from-Friends delivery. (Enemy: "I will destroy you." Bob: "Uhhhhhhhh... EGO much?") (Bob: "I'll survive this battle. You? Enhhhhhh, NOT SO MUCH!") "Not so much" serves as kind of a running zinger. It comes off like someone doing a Robert Downey Jr-in-Iron Man impression, but with none of the charm or cleverness: It's just a guy saying derivative things in a sarcastic tone while everyone around him applauds.

But the real issue with the series is its Gary Stu problem, which manifests itself much more subtly than its protagonist's nails-on-chalkboard Chandler impression. Bob is an athiest and a humanist. Any philosophical or moral issue is presented as childishly black-and-white, with Bob on the heroically (and sarcastically) correct side, with everyone who disagrees with him portrayed alternately as a coward, a moron or a megalomaniac. (This happens countless times throughout the series, but the easiest example is in Book 3: Bob finally shares with the rest of humanity the technology that uploaded his consciousness into a machine, allowing others to become functionally immortal, omniscient and omnipotent after their deaths. Of the millions of people on multiple colonized planets, not one person is interested in ascending to godhood after they die, either because they're scared, not interested, or because it sounds like too much work. Why? Because Bob's a one-of-a-kind genius, the only person in the galaxy to catch that there's literally no downside.)

If all this sounds excessively negative, I apologize. The book's irritations are... Legion. (everyone chortles and applauds) Sorry, everybody. SARCASM MUCH? (more laughter) A lot of people seem to enjoy this book, and maybe you'll be one of them. Me? Ennnnnnhhhh.... NOT SO MUCH. Alrighty then! (more applause) Star Wars! (uproarious laughter)

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The First Half is Powerful, Last Half is Nonsense

Revisado: 04-28-17

What did you love best about The Power of Now?

Being relatively ignorant of Buddhist teachings and meditation in general I found the first half of The Power of Now incredibly insightful. Presented as a Q&A, Eckhart Tolle gives the listener an insightful, secular, common-sense how-to on stripping away the mind's ceaseless chatter, embracing the "now" and embodying a state of alert presence. I found it incredibly helpful in quitting smoking and staying positive.

See below for the "But..."

Any additional comments?

One note of warning: Around the midway-point, Chapter Six or Seven, The Power of Now devolves into a sludge of faux-intellectual pseudo-science. It's one crackpot unsubstantiated new age theory after another, tarted up with a science word to lend it weight. The molecular density of self, psychic energy waves in the body, intradimensional dreamscapes. I'm surprised Tolle didn't throw a "quantum" or two in there. It's utter nonsense, but it shouldn't detract from the first half of the book, which is worth the price of admission on its own, frankly.

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Great Story. Odd Acting Choices From Narrator

Revisado: 06-19-16

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

I'd gotten used to the calm British tones of Jamie Glover in the previous book, The Pale Horseman, but was into the series enough that I decided to buy the unabridged version for Lords of the North.

Tom Sellwood is captivating as the narrator here, but makes some odd choices giving the book's characters different voices. The hero Uhtred's dialog, for instance, often sounds just petulant and childish instead of brave and confident.

But the book REALLY suffers when the slave king Guthred enters the narrative.He's supposed to be an enjoyable comic relief character -- Cornwell's narrative takes pains to point out how likable and charismatic he is -- but Sellwood voices him like the Muppets' Swedish Chef and Borat had a child. I wish I was exaggerating. It's off-putting enough, and Guthred is central enough to the story, that I'm having trouble getting through it.

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A VERY misleading waste of my money

Revisado: 06-11-16

Any additional comments?

I already bought and read the kindle version of this book -- I ONLY bought the audible version because I noticed Klosterman was one of the narrators. I love it when he reads his own work, because he usually drops in a lot of parenthetical asides, so it's like getting Bluray bonus features on a book you've already enjoyed.

This book is NOT "Narrated by Chuck Klosterman and Fiona Hardingham". This book is "Narrated by Fiona Hardingham (With an Introduction by Chuck Klosterman)". That is not a small difference. That is the difference between me spending or NOT spending $19 on a book I already own.

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