Kirk is a scientific researcher on the leading edge of cloning technology, but his team has reached a standstill. In an effort to stabilize rapid clone growth, researchers have been taking DNA from various parts of their bodies and combining it with small amounts of animal DNA. But when the scientists combine samples from Kirk's butt, brain, and a hawk, the resulting effect is a handsome, living ass who immediately sweeps Kirk off of his feet over a candlelit dinner for two.

Misha knows that chasing success in Hollywood can be hell. But finally, after years of trying to make it, his big moment is here: an Oscar nomination. And the executives at the studio for his long-running streaming series know just the thing to kick his career to the next level: kill off the gay characters, "for the algorithm," in the upcoming season finale.

Welcome to Neverton, Montana: home to a God-fearing community with a heart of gold. Nestled high up in the mountains is Camp Damascus, the self-proclaimed “most effective” gay conversion camp in the country. Here, a life free from sin awaits. But the secret behind that success is anything but holy. And they’ll scare you straight to hell.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Megan has taken this opportunity to spill her feelings to her friend Alice in a very intimate card. She’s nervous, but fortunately it appears Alice could make the same romantic admission first. There are two candy hearts held within Alice’s envelope, each one of them featuring a startlingly explicit phrase. But is this a message from Alice, or from the candies themselves? The truth is quickly revealed when these sentient bisexual treats reveal their true desires.

Former preacher turned viral video sensation, Jabua Fogstein, lives for the holidays: the sights, the smells, and especially the tastes. In fact, he's so excited to trying out his favorite coffee, Starbutts Christmas blend, that he camps out overnight for the introduction of their brand new red holiday cups.