First, Become Ashes
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Narrated by:
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Aaron Landon
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Avi Roque
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Briggon Snow
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Graham Halstead
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By:
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K.M. Szpara
About this listen
K. M. Szpara follows his explosive debut novel Docile with First, Become Ashes, a fantastic standalone adventure that explores self-discovery after trauma and outgrowing abusive origins over the course of an American road trip.
The Fellowship raised Lark to kill monsters.
His partner betrayed them to the Feds.
But Lark knows his magic is real, and he’ll do anything to complete his quest.
For 30 years, the Fellowship of the Anointed isolated its members, conditioning them to believe that pain is power. That magic is suffering. That the world beyond the fence has fallen prey to monsters. But when their leader is arrested, all her teachings come into question.
Those touched by the Fellowship face a choice: How will they adjust to the world they were taught to fear, and how will they relate to the cult's last crusader, Lark? For Kane, survival means rejecting the magic he and his lover suffered for. For Deryn, the cult's collapse is an opportunity to prove they are worth as much as their Anointed brother. For Calvin, lark is the alluring embodiment of the magic he's been seeking his entire life.
But for Lark, the Fellowship isn’t over. Before he can begin to discover himself and heal a lifetime of traumas, he has a monster to slay.
First, Become Ashes contains explicit sadomasochism and sexual content, as well as abuse and consent violations, including rape.
A Macmillan Audio production from Tor.com
©2021 K.M. Szpara (P)2021 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Redemption isn't a word Jim Heron knows much about - his specialty is revenge, and to him, sin is all relative. But everything changes when he becomes a fallen angel and is charged with saving the souls of seven people from the seven deadly sins. Vin diPietro long ago sold his soul to his business, and he's good with that - until fate intervenes in the form of a tough-talking Harley-riding, self-professed savior.
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Entertaining listen
- By M. M. Robinson on 12-26-09
By: J. R. Ward
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Mark of the Witch
- By: Maggie Shayne
- Narrated by: Megan Hayes
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A lapsed Wiccan, Indira Simon doesn't believe in magic anymore. But when strange dreams of being sacrificed to an ancient Babylonian god have her waking up with real rope burns on her wrists, she's forced to acknowledge that she may have been too hasty in her rejection of the unknown. Then she meets mysterious and handsome Father Thomas.
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Nothing original here
- By Aimee on 10-03-12
By: Maggie Shayne
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The Marbury Lens
- By: Andrew Smith
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Jack gets drunk and finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time: he is kidnapped, but escapes, narrowly. The only person he tells is his best friend, Conner. When they arrive in London as planned for their summer break, a stranger hands Jack a pair of glasses. Through the lenses, he sees another world called Marbury. There is war in Marbury, which is a desolate and murderous place where Jack is responsible for the survival of two younger boys.
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Like an addiction, I just couldn't stop listening.
- By Gini McKellar on 11-24-10
By: Andrew Smith
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Unraveling
- By: Elizabeth Norris
- Narrated by: Katie Schorr
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Two days before the start of her junior year, 17-year-old Janelle Tenner is hit by a pickup truck and killed - as in blinding light, scenes of her life flashing before her, and then nothing. Except the next thing she knows, she's opening her eyes to find Ben Michaels, a loner from her high school whom Janelle has never talked to, leaning over her. And even though it isn't possible, she knows - with every fiber of her being - that Ben has somehow brought her back to life.
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Roswell + Fringe = Unraveling
- By Gena on 05-05-12
By: Elizabeth Norris
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Demon Crossings
- By: Eleri Stone
- Narrated by: Holly Adams
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Private investigator Grace tracks a kidnapped child to middle-of-nowhere Iowa. Encountering a strange creature she knows can't be a local animal, she doesn't need her psychic abilities to figure out the sleepy town is not what it seems. When she meets the intriguing Aiden, she's plunged into a world of Norse gods and fire demons where the Wild Hunt still rides the night.
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Sooo Good... Can't wait for book 2!
- By Candateshia Pafford on 06-27-13
By: Eleri Stone
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The Marshal's Witness
- By: Lena Diaz
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Breaking protocol and going on the run with a protected witness wasn't in U.S. Marshal Ryan Jackson's plans. And even though Jessica Delaney's testimony nearly put away a crime boss, Ryan can't afford to trust her. Still, the duty-dedicated marshal will do whatever it takes to protect Jessica and uncover the mole leaking her new identity. But staying seconds ahead of the ruthless killers on their trail is easier than keeping himself safe from Jessica's unexpected vulnerability and irresistible determination.
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Loved it!
- By HoneyBadger on 04-06-15
By: Lena Diaz
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The Becoming
- Anna Strong, Vampire, Book 1
- By: Jeanne C. Stein
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Anna Strong is trained for anything-until she's attacked one night, only to awaken in a dark world that exists between the living and the dead. Here, Anna struggles with her love for the two men who inhabit the realms of each: Max, a human DEA agent, and Avery, a Night Watcher who joins Anna in pursuit of the vampire who changed her life. Now, as her two worlds collide, fate plunges Anna into the ultimate battle between good and evil - where survival is not just for the living.
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Another new take on vampires and the paranormal.
- By Karen K on 02-26-11
By: Jeanne C. Stein
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Grave Witch
- Alex Craft Series, Book 1
- By: Kalayna Price
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Not even death can save her now. As a grave witch, Alex Craft can speak to the dead---she's even on good terms with Death himself. As a consultant for the police, she's seen a lot of dark magic, but nothing has prepared her for her latest case.
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Excellent Story Narrator needs alot more practice
- By Persistant.SNAFU on 07-06-11
By: Kalayna Price
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The Lost Saint
- A Dark Divine Novel
- By: Bree Despain
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Grace Divine made the ultimate sacrifice to cure Daniel Kalbi. She gave her soul to the wolf to save him and lost her beloved mother. When Grace receives a haunting phone call from Jude, she knows what she must do. She must become a Hound of Heaven. Desparate to find Jude, Grace befriends Talbot - a newcomer to town who promises her that he can help her be a hero. But as the two grow closer, the wolf grows in Grace, and her relationship with Daniel begins to crumble.
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Riveting, Compelling Paranormal Romance Thriller!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-20-11
By: Bree Despain
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Extreme Exposure
- I-Team Series, Book 1
- By: Pamela Clare
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Sparks fly when a hardboiled reporter meets a handsome senator. But a political scandal - and attempts on her life - could drive them apart. Or maybe adversity could draw them into a bond even more intense than their steamy sexual embraces.
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Great audio of the first book in a fabulous series
- By Amazon Customer on 11-02-12
By: Pamela Clare
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Aftertime
- An Aftertime Novel, Book 1
- By: Sophie Littlefield
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Awakening in a bleak landscape as scarred as her body, Cass Dollar vaguely recalls surviving something terrible. Having no idea how many weeks have passed, she slowly realizes the horrifying truth: Ruthie has vanished. And with her, nearly all of civilization. Where once-lush hills carried cars and commerce, the roads today see only cannibalistic Beaters - people turned hungry for human flesh by a government experiment gone wrong.
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False Advertisement!!
- By Dan on 05-31-12
What listeners say about First, Become Ashes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John Edward
- 04-09-24
Uneven but some really great writing from Szpara
A little bit of good, experienced editing and this could have been a really great read. I thought the female narrators weren't up to the standard of the rest of the performances and material. The men were excellent. The ending is too rushed. Surely after so much compelling, thought provoking drama one wouldn't have expected the conclusion to just fall into place without some thoroughly, deep, lush and twisted emotions, especially with such complicated dynamics between several characters. I think it could have been better if the author had taken out some repetitive material in the middle of the book and elaborated on the new situations and relationships in the last chapters which I thought were very unsatisfying. I also admit to getting lost and confused sometimes in the audiobook because scenes can change very quickly without warning or resolution. But it is worth sticking to it because parts are riveting. There's some absolutely beautiful writing here and I intend to read it again. I looking forward to the next book because the author has some real potential, IMHO.
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- Jenn
- 04-10-21
Great, unique concept, but execution fell flat.
K.M. Szpara is an inclusive author who is masterful at taking on difficult topics and presenting them in a way that is wholly unique. That said, I'm not sure we will ever see a warm, fuzzy, "feel good" novel from him, and I think that's absolutely fine. He isn't for everyone, and this book isn't for everyone.
Stated trigger warnings: Contains explicit sadomasochism, sexual content, abuse and consent violations. Reviewer Note: The trigger warnings as stated should be preceded by the word "extreme" and explicitly state rape. If these topics are in the vicinity of triggering for you, please do not read this book. I cannot emphasize that enough.
Review: I found myself shaking throughout this novel, shaking with anticipation, anger/rage, anxiety, frustration, grief/sadness. I wanted to scream, cry, and, on occasion, smile. It's a very emotionally exhausting read/listen.
Set in present day, this is the story of what happens when faith is used to manipulate and commit atrocities that are nearly beyond comprehension. It's about people who are left in the wake of those atrocities and what they discover about themselves while discovering the world. This is a story about reconciling realities, about wanting so desperately to believe, and believing because the alternative is unfathomable. It's also about recognizing that reality isn't always an either/or.
This story largely follows:
1./ 24 year old Lark as he goes on a quest/road trip after being freed from a cult and subsequently breaking out of FBI custody.
2./ Lark's brave, amazing 25 year old partner Kane whose actions led to the arrest of cult leader Nova and the destruction of the cult. He is chasing his love, Lark, with FBI Detective Miller and Lark's brother Deryn in tow.
3./ Cosplay Calvin, the "outsider" who meets a Lark on the run and decides to help him with best friend Lillian in tow. He does it because of his own desire to believe/see that there is magic in the world and that Lark can show it to him... that and apparently Lark is hot.
Are there monsters in the world? Yes, but they come in all forms and aren't equally recognizable by all.
Is there magic in the world? Maybe, but magic doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. If it exists and comes at a cost, is it a price worth paying?
For those that are expecting a book like Docile, this isn't it. For those that haven't read Docile, I highly recommend it. Each book is very unique, and the only similarities are the far ranging list of trigger warnings eliciting wide ranging emotions. I loved Docile, and while I appreciated this book, I didn't find the characters to have as much depth or evolve as much as they did in that novel. I couldn't fully appreciate these characters. Some (Calvin and Deryn) were just downright annoying.
I didn't find the end satisfying. Allllll the Kane and Lark throughout the novel, and what we're given in the end was just... meh. There's a lot of backstory, but so little detail about what happened to these characters "later" (as the end chapters are so aptly titled... not a spoiler this is in the table of contents) that it drove my star rating from a 4 to a 3. Calvin, not Kane, is given the last chapter (also in the table of contents)... seriously? It was not sufficient at all and did a disservice to the reader who spent quite a lot of time and emotional investment on the journey.
Format: I listened to this book on Audible, in one sitting. The narrator delivers an engaging performance worthy of this complex and highly emotional work.
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4 people found this helpful
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- LbsZ
- 04-19-21
Missed Opportunity
It was a really interesting premise to use cosplay/larping as the basis for a cult! It frees readers from the baggage of picking on a specific religion or real world cult and points out how ANY set of ideas could become a cult. This is thrown away, though, when the book refuses to answer the question, is magic real or not? That, combined with weak character development and no Inception-esque big-idea made this a really hard book to enjoy. It is a missed opportunity to identify what makes a cult a cult and how people can be resilient against those tactics.
Docile was exceptional at character development and making me empathize with the characters’ circumstances (poverty, oppression, survival, family, etc.). Ashes made me hate every single character, none of whom really develop. It had a lot of potential and the voice actors are great, though.
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